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Today is a new day.



Today is a new day: I promise as my blog grows you will see why I’ve shared my story.. I’ve hidden so much because I was told I had to and it’s destroyed who I am.. burying my dad and my son has shown me so much.. its time for me to stand on the truth and not lay and sob being told “God took my dead son from me and gave him to my dad because I was a horrible person” depending on who is around. You don’t know the truth, but I’m about to help you learn just exactly what it’s like living with a narcissist.

Yet being told how special, loved and wanted I am by the ones who truly know and love me. It’s time to face the demons head on not because of who is around or preying thinking they have gain of some sort but because it’s the truth and more people know the truth over the lie.. yes I am fully aware I don’t have to share my story.. but I have not “stolen” anything “ruined my children” “tormented my family” and I most certainly am not the person that was painted when “911” was called by a outsider who thinks they know the truth. 

That walk down a fence ends... it’s not destroying me anymore.. and for those that think this has to do with the “election” you’re wrong.. that “election” means nothing to me... I don’t even live there.. for those that think it has to do with a “black man” you’re wrong again. And you will soon learn the truth about that too! 

Bring the civil suits or restraining orders or whatever, Trust me the “paint by number colors were painted in the wrong place so I will help to get them corrected so that the full picture shows.”

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My daddy loved me.

  Life wasn’t always easy with dad, especially when he was so drugged up you couldn’t stand to be around him, he was either hateful & vile or so depressed he talked about wanting to die to be free of it all.. at the times he talked about wanting to die I had no idea how he could even say that when he had me & 2 beautiful grandchildren to live for, even a 3rd on the way & his last day before he died it laid in bed with a dry mouth and spoke death to be free… he even wrote a letter that he was never enough.. nothing he did or gave was enough.. I can’t even tell you the times he talked about suicide or went on drives not to even be found to be free from her mouth… accusing him of women after women… the hell, the arguments, the fights… the accusations… the drama, the lies… ughh…  Broken iPads, a woman beat in Walmart, my baby shower ruined, my husbands job ruined, my sons 4th of July baby race ruined.:. So much shit & here she sits… like she’s the victim who lost her husban

Well. It continues..

  & my son also. Thanks MOTHER. Yup I sure have. I seen him there (overdosed or drugged?) I have yet to figure out which yet because the person who birthed me “controlled his medicine” & her lies are thick. I am not sure she knows what truth is for anything. If it comes out her mouth it’s a lie, sadly she puts on such a show that she has some believe what comes out, but for the most part she is just tolerated and people “laugh in her face” “even her friends” hummm that is a statement I was told funny how them words were more fitting for her and the piece of shits mouth they came from.. in the near future you will see a picture of my dad in the last state I saw him in. It is disgusting. I’ve not had the strength to put it out yet because it’s horrible & so many will be shocked. Also recordings from my own dad & many others will also shock you.. but to me it’s a final piece  of where it’s all about to go & hopefully justice is served.. it’s hard knowing what is coming

It FINALLY happened.

(Recordings coming soon!!!) I am READY. I’ll be the “crazy one”… my body heart & health is exhausted carrying the abuse, hurt and trauma I’ve been living with.. hiding… covering up to “not hurt my mother” because she always made me cover up and lie about it!!!! Ughhh  It’s been a hell of a few days. Some big things are coming I have listened to more recordings than I even care to hear and completely disgusted that I even thought my mother would ever change.. hearing the hell I’ve been put through and reliving the horror of abuse plus reading my notes to piece it all for my book & the media including the sexual acts just to feed myself or meet at a hotel room and pretty much sell myself to have a bed to sleep in or as I lived in a friends empty apartment after she moved out, yet she kept it for me to live there because I was struggling.. I am just so upset that I ever hid the abuse thinking one day my “mother”? No my incubator / because a mother doesnt do this crap to their chil