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Today is a new day.



Today is a new day: I promise as my blog grows you will see why I’ve shared my story.. I’ve hidden so much because I was told I had to and it’s destroyed who I am.. burying my dad and my son has shown me so much.. its time for me to stand on the truth and not lay and sob being told “God took my dead son from me and gave him to my dad because I was a horrible person” depending on who is around. You don’t know the truth, but I’m about to help you learn just exactly what it’s like living with a narcissist.

Yet being told how special, loved and wanted I am by the ones who truly know and love me. It’s time to face the demons head on not because of who is around or preying thinking they have gain of some sort but because it’s the truth and more people know the truth over the lie.. yes I am fully aware I don’t have to share my story.. but I have not “stolen” anything “ruined my children” “tormented my family” and I most certainly am not the person that was painted when “911” was called by a outsider who thinks they know the truth. 

That walk down a fence ends... it’s not destroying me anymore.. and for those that think this has to do with the “election” you’re wrong.. that “election” means nothing to me... I don’t even live there.. for those that think it has to do with a “black man” you’re wrong again. And you will soon learn the truth about that too! 

Bring the civil suits or restraining orders or whatever, Trust me the “paint by number colors were painted in the wrong place so I will help to get them corrected so that the full picture shows.”

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Overdose Awareness: Dad.

I will be adding to this post & will remove this when I’m finished, so if you see this FYI know this blog post isn’t finished. Dad. I have no words. I could say a million things, yet, I hear the echoes of how your body was a “soup kitchen of drugs”, the lies of regimens, “I’m controlling his medication & blah blah blah, the lies. & all the times I tried to save you, but my voice, cries for help & pleas didn’t matter. Now that you’re gone life goes on for some, but for others like me & the boys, you can’t just be replaced, it doesn’t matter that drugs took you away from your only daughter & grandchildren.. I can’t just go find another dad. Although the more I learn the more I understand why death seemed easier than life. (SemiColon) Justice will come.. I don’t care what anyone says, I didn’t like who you were when you were drugged up, but you were always my daddy, you were there when the drugs didn’t keep you away and you sure as heck would not stand

My daddy loved me.

  Life wasn’t always easy with dad, especially when he was so drugged up you couldn’t stand to be around him, he was either hateful & vile or so depressed he talked about wanting to die to be free of it all.. at the times he talked about wanting to die I had no idea how he could even say that when he had me & 2 beautiful grandchildren to live for, even a 3rd on the way & his last day before he died it laid in bed with a dry mouth and spoke death to be free… he even wrote a letter that he was never enough.. nothing he did or gave was enough.. I can’t even tell you the times he talked about suicide or went on drives not to even be found to be free from her mouth… accusing him of women after women… the hell, the arguments, the fights… the accusations… the drama, the lies… ughh…  Broken iPads, a woman beat in Walmart, my baby shower ruined, my husbands job ruined, my sons 4th of July baby race ruined.:. So much shit & here she sits… like she’s the victim who lost her husban

Overdue. RIP daddy.

(It’s late & this was a very hard post for me! I will be editing this with some voice recordings, court documents, police reports & more in the very near future so please check back for more details soon!!) to my daddy… thanks for loving me hard when you were in sound mind..without the drugs & I’m sorry I didn’t see through the lies that left so many unanswered questions… at your death. I’m one day closer to seeing you!”) ……….  So after today’s appointment I feel like I need to write this post. As many or probably all of you know at this point my dad is dead. Above you will see the final picture of him on earth. Without life. Laying in his casket. Prematurely. What comes next is a mystery that unfortunately I’m not sure will ever get solved although I still have hope that someday before I take my last breath here I will have the answers I’ve been seeking.. Unfortunately I don’t know for certain if his overdose or as I was told “his body was a drug soup kitchen” was intentio