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You killed your child.

Edited to add: since I was asked; this happened at my mothers house while I was sitting in my van.

The biggest yet most painful lie I’ve ever been told and struggle daily just continuing to find a way to breathe after hearing it. I have already lived with anxiety because of you, while you walk around acting like some high class godly politician, but if this is high class, how godly people act and the way politicians speak to a mother whose child is dead I want no part in any of it, I will never recover from this you sick piece of scum!!!! You will face judgment for a lot of things but most definitely these words to a grieving mother who already has faced the most devastating heartbreak felt by the heart! I don’t care what seat you sit on in the political world, these words are so vile and your venom has deeply damaged every ounce of my shattered heart like a razor blade forced into my heart continuing to destroy every piece of flesh inside me, I know that brings you satisfaction just like the satisfaction you got seeing me loaded in the ambulance by your disgusting evilness and not even being able to breathe, and while you almost got your wish of “if I didn’t see you tomorrow it would make your day” I’m sure it would have made your day but I lived to tell about it!!!!!

I have stayed quite about a lot and only recently have I spoke up, mainly because I was trying to protect what I was told I had to protect I’ve learned over the last few years what my fear have told me for a lot longer, the lies that I covered destroyed me and it didn’t matter to anyone else how my heart felt.. but this lie damaged me so bad it made me realize I don’t have to live with covered lies any longer, some things can’t be unseen and some can’t be unheard. I realized this particular night that this person would stop at nothing to destroy me and over the years when I was unsure of things going on it became very clear to me that I was going to have to stand up even if it meant standing alone. I already had some things in place for actions before this, but the knife so deep stabbed inside me hearing I killed my son has been the death of my heart. Honestly I know a couple of people will gain satisfaction from knowing how damaged this made me and that’s ok, But the razor blade inside me has been bouncing around destroying every piece of flesh in my heart even though I know It’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard in all my life and was meant to destroy me, but the fact that the mother who grew and birthed me stood by and did absolutely nothing as these words were said yet claims she didn’t know what to do & watched I was loaded in the ambulance not even able to breathe, it felt like I was dying and she didn’t even seem to care which I’m sure he took comfort in, says so much to me, even left me there alone and rode off  after he uttered these disgusting words to me, her only child.. claiming now that the police didn’t give her a choice she wanted to stay, and even came to the ambulance to check on me, but they wouldn’t let her see me, (still trying to validate this!), I can tell you right now my child would not have been alone and no one would have told me to leave my child, furthermore none of my “friends” would have EVER said this to my child and still been in my life! Sadly this is not the first event either, But it’s given me more ambition to fight for others who are bullied, “greyed” and trying to learn their own voice or walk on eggshells hoping one day “they are enough” and can be loved the way they should be.. or is it time to walk away and find their own identity outside the lies, deception & years of manipulation!

 You may destroy the relationship of my mother & I, but you will not continue to destroy me nor my family!!!!

— I did not kill my dad or my child...
...but YOU are the biggest piece of scum to ever walk on earth.

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My daddy loved me.

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Well. It continues..

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It FINALLY happened.

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