Unfriend me.

This hits sooo hard & is sooo true!!! 

Not only do I deal with the death of my son, my dad & my grandparents, in a very short time, I have no siblings, I deal with the crap my mother &  her “friends” sling at me & my family, my family & I live in fear everyday of her friend who is a politician & well that alone makes me uncomfortable and uneasy, thankfully there are some good ones left but I’ve lost faith in the political system, and now I have super bad anxiety and ache every SINGLE day as if it wasn’t bad enough from my son dying, accepting & processing the fact she allowed her friend to tell me I killed my son and my dad!!!! And then she left with him while I was loaded in the ambulance as she watched and ended up and UF health hospital! Thankfully my husband got there to take care of me because she surly didn’t care!! I didn’t expect any less she wasn’t there when my son was born or died either.

While I know that is a lie, my body did fail him!!! I already have a deep regret of killing him for not taking care of me first. I should NOT have been taking care of her and my dads arrangements I should have been taking care of me and SidneyBlake and I was not, so hearing I killed my son has literally destroyed me and the fact that my mom just stood there with no remorse, disgusts me. I could have very well had my son with me today, had I not slept on her living room floor waiting on her hand and foot and running ragged taking care of my dads arrangements while I was already having pregnancy complications!!! 

But that wasn’t enough.. ugh. 

—Plus so much other stuff that no one even knows YET.

I don’t have a mother to call and process life with, she is to self absorbed or a sister, I process it with my husband, and a few close friends & extended family! You don’t know what it’s like unless you’re here! 

Thankfully I don’t deal with “unfriend” often, I’m sure a few have unfollowed, unfriended or whatever but my true friends are still right beside me and I know who they are! 

It’s not been a easy journey for me and I have a lot to unpack and a lot of demons to face but I could be strung out on drugs somewhere to cope, but I’m not, I’m dealing the best way I can and if that is toxic or exhausting to you I’m sorry! 

This is part of the read; (not my words)
“So go ahead, unfriend me. I’ve seen your posts too, the ones that give platitudes like, “Avoid negative people,” “How dealing with me is exhausting.”

unfriend me since all my friends are laughing in my face.

As my mom stood by and allowed this scum to say this and so much more to me. 

Ohhh but my mother stands right there and says this is ok for him to talk to her child like this because I  bashed them on Facebook, everything I’ve posted has been truth & facts, but it’s bashing them so this & so much more is ok, because it’s been said and not posted right, so is the threats we’ve gotten while she’s stood there. It’s disgusting to me.. 

There is so much more to come; and I’m thankful for the mamas who have stepped up to be mamas to me and the friends who have stepped up to be sisters to me since I’m so sick and my own mother is ok with her “friend” ruining her family.. he’s such a piece of scum and a bully.. unfortunately he’s a politician too so it makes me think even less of our political system..

Edit to add: this was not recent I’ve not subjected myself to him since he told me I killed my son and my dad. Just adding this because it’s fitting with today’s post of “unfriend me”.

Since all my friends laugh at me and think I’m sick. 🙄
If they only knew. I’m just thankful I do know.
 This is so disgusting to me. However the more you learn the more it will make sense.