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Lies. Lies. Lies.

Thank God my children know how much they are loved and will never feel the gross disgusting demonic slime of the lies, manipulation & deception from the one person in the world who should love and protect them more than anyone else.. this blog should hurt but it doesn’t, it is disgusting to me.. especially since my dad suffered and died because I believed all the lies... but you know what.. that blood falls somewhere and it isn’t on my hands.... 

I am just wondering:

Funny how I’m the sick one. (Blog here!) 
Ha. I’m the sick one for sure! Because I keep bouncing that truth ball exposing it for what it is.

Y’all. I have so much to blog. This is a message I was going to send her but it’s not even worth my time. The lies pour out like the flowing well of chlorine.. never stopping....

The picture I got was just more confirmation of all the lies I was just told Friday while I sat in the hospital.. she’s never changing... not that I expect her to but oh my goodness.. denial and masks for days.

It’s been this time for me.. but she showed up at the hospital while I was there Friday and just wait for that! Seriously. It’s disturbing. I heard this saying a time or two and trust me when you hear this hospital visit you will be just as disgusted & disturbed. 

It was so bad... this happened. Revocation. Oh yes.. while I was at the hospital.. just wait. I am tired. I don’t have to fake laying in a bed with the shakes, lying. I will bring the truth. Every bit of it.  && I was put in the path of someone I needed to meet.. another daughter of a narcmom who unfortunately lived this same life and her words to me was powerful. I’ll be sharing that soon.. my new found sister, so while this event was not ideal, it allowed me a new friend who reminded me, I’m not alone & it will all come to light.. & she also reminded me that It’s not my issue.. I have a beautiful family & friends who love me.. I don’t need a womb donor who doesn’t know how to love and allows me to be hurt.

But wants me to remain silent so her lies are not unmasked. Suffer in silence!

NOOOO WAY!! Bounce that ball... and don’t suffer at all! It’s them not you! Let them play victim all they want!!! Tell your story!! You matter and their lies don’t!! Trust me they won’t care when you take your last breath, they will be the loudest, fakest cry, poor them and  be victim at your death.. trust me I know!!!!  Expose them them they don’t get the satisfaction of being victim!!!

•You are a lying snake!!! You fit in exactly where you are!! I knew you were lying to me AGAIN at the hospital, why did you even come!?? Oh I know to lie some more because you can’t stand not knowing what’s going on in our lives!!! Or what I may expose of the lies you live. You come just to put on your care face so you could play “mother of the year” and tell your cousin “oh yes I’m down here playing mother to my child at the hospital” I heard you! really came to see if I was dying yet so you could be free of me too just like dad, didn’t you??? well don’t you worry your little self about my sickness that I deserve, 🙄 or my death or my family, keep playing your sick games!!

I’ve heard this and every time I see it I cringe. Don’t let them keep you silanced! They are only trying to silence you so they can continue to be victim and hide behind their lies!! This is exactly what a narcissist wants.. you to sit down and shut up so they can keep their fake up.. suffer in silence don’t expose them.. I’m pretty sure  your actions & lies exposed you.. keep bouncing that ball I hear.. oh I will. Trust me I will. I’ll bounce every single lie out of it...

You drove down there for show!!  You will never change!! Keep bouncing your ball!!! God likes your ugly right??!! I’m sure he does in your own little world!!! Keep on lying.. people know who you are and what you're about, you’ve not fooled everyone!!!

Just like you lied about the floors, money, theft, all your stealing, food stamps, the scum who threatened and bullied us and so much more, and keep letting crap come to me!!

True narcmom (another blog post) (click here)

You are absolutely disgusting!!!

You’ve stomped your own self in the ground with your poor pity you and lies!!! Just like you watched and enabled dads drug use and overdose and the people he ran over on the interstate that suffered over your lies & the many others who have been effected.. You will pay for all your lies & evilness!!!!! But you won’t get the satisfaction of my death by suicide talk like you want!!! Go throw up more demons on the pulpit before you ever preach at me again!!! You know good and well what you’re doing!!  I hope you're happy with your self.. oh no wait.. your laying in bed sick with the shakes because you miss your family so much right like you told me tonight??? ... and you need us so much right?? And we are so much more important than him right?? You can’t stand not seeing us right?? And you are not going to the wildcat dinner because you've been in bed sick since you left the hospital and saw me because I wouldn't let you even touch me, And you want to help us with all he's done to us right?? And you will do anything for us right?? it looks like just what you are doing here!!!! And so much other crap that you said that was lies... but of course being called out you don’t know what I’m talking about I’m sure...

YOU LIED AGAIN!!!! Oh but that’s boring new.  Pictures & recordings say it all. That’s the truth.
It will all be brought to light then you can really be sick with your shakes and lay in the snake den with the liars, manipulators, deceptiive scum & demons alike...

I smelled your lies to me at the hospital just like I did the stolen chlorine.. 🤮

This story will continue and I’ll be adding to it..

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My daddy loved me.

  Life wasn’t always easy with dad, especially when he was so drugged up you couldn’t stand to be around him, he was either hateful & vile or so depressed he talked about wanting to die to be free of it all.. at the times he talked about wanting to die I had no idea how he could even say that when he had me & 2 beautiful grandchildren to live for, even a 3rd on the way & his last day before he died it laid in bed with a dry mouth and spoke death to be free… he even wrote a letter that he was never enough.. nothing he did or gave was enough.. I can’t even tell you the times he talked about suicide or went on drives not to even be found to be free from her mouth… accusing him of women after women… the hell, the arguments, the fights… the accusations… the drama, the lies… ughh…  Broken iPads, a woman beat in Walmart, my baby shower ruined, my husbands job ruined, my sons 4th of July baby race ruined.:. So much shit & here she sits… like she’s the victim who lost her husban

Well. It continues..

  & my son also. Thanks MOTHER. Yup I sure have. I seen him there (overdosed or drugged?) I have yet to figure out which yet because the person who birthed me “controlled his medicine” & her lies are thick. I am not sure she knows what truth is for anything. If it comes out her mouth it’s a lie, sadly she puts on such a show that she has some believe what comes out, but for the most part she is just tolerated and people “laugh in her face” “even her friends” hummm that is a statement I was told funny how them words were more fitting for her and the piece of shits mouth they came from.. in the near future you will see a picture of my dad in the last state I saw him in. It is disgusting. I’ve not had the strength to put it out yet because it’s horrible & so many will be shocked. Also recordings from my own dad & many others will also shock you.. but to me it’s a final piece  of where it’s all about to go & hopefully justice is served.. it’s hard knowing what is coming

February 5th 2023

 I know these are long posts- I am super broken right now, but, Yes I am ok. Sorry I’ve not got back to everyone.. I’ve been on self care mode all day today, cPTSD is real and is not easy to cope with.. & I’ve really beat myself up super bad today.. the feeling of not being enough is super hard to accept. Especially when I hoped for them so bad.. I definitely took steps backwards and relived a lot of trauma, nightmares & have been triggered hard from the past.. I allowed myself to be hurt again & I’ve literally cried all day long durning my awake times because I just don’t understand..  I’ve read some of my favorite books over again that really helped me cope with it all before.. I am weak and tired and my fibromyalgia is flared from the stress.. I will need a few days to recover from just knowing I let my guard down just to have a mom that I deserve.. and once again have to accept the hard truth that I will never have that mom.. to much damage has been caused and every tim