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Here goes the god train.. Again.

WoW. God does not like ugly 不不不不不不
So he liked the threats?  The bullying? The denial? The lies? The deception? The manipulation? The ohhh I don’t need to go on. He just doesn’t like “other” people’s ulgy..   y’all this makes me so sad for her. I would absolutely hate to be stuck here. But my dad was too and well I wasn’t ever able to help him I just learned to live away from him...

Denial runs deep....
Did you know you can pick and choose what ulgy he likes?? 丹‍♀️





Anyways, Here goes the “god” spill again. God has to be sick of the throw around of His name.

I’m telling you this conversation makes me want to puke亢 I use to feel anger when she started this and after  therapy, my support groups and knowing more about narcissists I feel sad that it take complete control of you and no matter how much truth is put there, there is no change because it’s a mind thing and the devil takes complete control with  illusions.. it really is sad. Even tho I saw it with dad I never really knew.. now I do and I wish so much she wanted to change from her behavior but some times I think it’s getting worse.. especially when she knows we’ve been threatened on her property and she still thinks in her head we should go down there.. like who does that?? Even family & law enforcement has told her they advised us to stay away from there it’s not a good or safe place for us.. yet she doesn’t seem to comprehend it!! It’s really sad.. don’t mistake it for me being sad because me and my family are doing well.. despite the threats, lies and bullying that has taken place again that she is in denial with.. or is she really?!?

Like I said tonight.. just as much denial as the drug use of my dad that took his life.. it’s a shame.

As I head to mayo again this week she tried to one up me again. As I told her minimal about my sickness, hers was worse. As always. Just like our other conversations in previous posts, that is typical narcissistic personality and well... it is what it is..

When you’re sick, a narcissist is sicker and once again I heard that in this conversation. It’s a illness. Always one up. Why haven’t you been to see me? Well why haven’t you been.. not remembering the threats, the time you told me to leave when the cop there, the ambulance.. like so narcissistic.

I’ll post that soon & of course I got the good ol hang up to the face like usual. She wants to tell me how sick I am along with her “friend” well how sick does she think she is?! She will soon find out.

That’s what that conversation was about but of course typical narc behavior... I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just wish a narc knew that wasn’t going to carry them in life.. sure it’s worked but it does not always work..

Darkness driven out by light.. it’s coming.. I see that ball I’m bouncing coming into the light..


Does “I don’t know what you’re talking about” work when you stand before God too!?
Asking for a friend!

Never cease to amuse me.. oh and then I got I better be glad I walked through that door the Sunday before my dad died on Monday.. the dad I killed right??? Here is your proof I wasn’t there Monday when he died.. since I killed him...

Because I stayed away because of his drug addiction that he didn’t get help for..

Wake up!!! Take the mask off and take action for all your deception & lies.

Anyway my son is leaving tomorrow, so I’m going to spend time with him!

I am stronger than I was away from the lies but My God. I feel sad for her especially the more I hear. I hate so much it’s come to this point but I refuse to let the narcissist destroy me anymore with the lies behind the mask... them days are over for me.. and thinking the hang ups effect me.. not anymore! Oh they use to.. before I learned what a narcmom was.. now I just feel sad for her that she can’t face the truth and doesn’t even want to face the truth.. but whatever... I guess her and her god just doesn’t like me...

Oh I’m going to bounce it. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about” doesn’t work for everything in life... 





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My daddy loved me.

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Well. It continues..

  & my son also. Thanks MOTHER. Yup I sure have. I seen him there (overdosed or drugged?) I have yet to figure out which yet because the person who birthed me “controlled his medicine” & her lies are thick. I am not sure she knows what truth is for anything. If it comes out her mouth it’s a lie, sadly she puts on such a show that she has some believe what comes out, but for the most part she is just tolerated and people “laugh in her face” “even her friends” hummm that is a statement I was told funny how them words were more fitting for her and the piece of shits mouth they came from.. in the near future you will see a picture of my dad in the last state I saw him in. It is disgusting. I’ve not had the strength to put it out yet because it’s horrible & so many will be shocked. Also recordings from my own dad & many others will also shock you.. but to me it’s a final piece  of where it’s all about to go & hopefully justice is served.. it’s hard knowing what is coming

February 5th 2023

 I know these are long posts- I am super broken right now, but, Yes I am ok. Sorry I’ve not got back to everyone.. I’ve been on self care mode all day today, cPTSD is real and is not easy to cope with.. & I’ve really beat myself up super bad today.. the feeling of not being enough is super hard to accept. Especially when I hoped for them so bad.. I definitely took steps backwards and relived a lot of trauma, nightmares & have been triggered hard from the past.. I allowed myself to be hurt again & I’ve literally cried all day long durning my awake times because I just don’t understand..  I’ve read some of my favorite books over again that really helped me cope with it all before.. I am weak and tired and my fibromyalgia is flared from the stress.. I will need a few days to recover from just knowing I let my guard down just to have a mom that I deserve.. and once again have to accept the hard truth that I will never have that mom.. to much damage has been caused and every tim