I didn’t ask to be brought into this world.. I sure didn’t deserve the abuse Ive been dealt.. You have no idea what I am overcoming, I’ve had a zipper, tape and hands over my mouth for longer than I care to explain, the scars & infection are deep, and all the lies that has come with it, but I love you was the biggest, I’m not sure what my purpose here is, but I fight everyday for my children because I know first hand what it’s like not to be fought for. The mental, emotional, physical abuse I’ve suffered has made me not want to live...death seems easier than the demons I’ve been left to face, yet I face them everyday. It makes me sick to think of all the abuse I’ve covered because I just wanted to be love and accepted, and it all came with conditions of “sit down and shut up” or else, and sadly that’s still been the condition, but I kept waiting for the approval that I was enough and I had lied enough to be loved, and even at 40 I was still waiting... I’ve covered way more than I should have... guarantee you there would be some jail time for things I’ve been through.. the cover ups made & some days it eats my soul and today is one of them days... how someone could lie and watch their children & even grandchildren suffer is beyond me.. but I’ve done it far more years than most realize.. I was silent for far to long.... #Chlorine #Abuse #lies #narcissist
Life wasn’t always easy with dad, especially when he was so drugged up you couldn’t stand to be around him, he was either hateful & vile or so depressed he talked about wanting to die to be free of it all.. at the times he talked about wanting to die I had no idea how he could even say that when he had me & 2 beautiful grandchildren to live for, even a 3rd on the way & his last day before he died it laid in bed with a dry mouth and spoke death to be free… he even wrote a letter that he was never enough.. nothing he did or gave was enough.. I can’t even tell you the times he talked about suicide or went on drives not to even be found to be free from her mouth… accusing him of women after women… the hell, the arguments, the fights… the accusations… the drama, the lies… ughh… Broken iPads, a woman beat in Walmart, my baby shower ruined, my husbands job ruined, my sons 4th of July baby race ruined.:. So much shit & here she sits… like she’s the victim who lost her husban