Skip to main content

Lies.

This is how sick it is.. (the voice recordings) 
True narcissistic.

Funny how I’m the one who needs help for sharing the truth.
Gosh Mother.
For once take a long hard look in the mirror.

My mom says I’m tormenting myself and my household.
Then she said she didn’t say I was evil.
 (The first video clearly states otherwise)
Then she said it’s not her voice and she doesn’t know what I’m talking about.
Ohh then she admits she said it.
Then it’s my fault. And I deserve it.
Oh. And then she loves me.. 😑


Yes I did call her to take care of some business and this is where it went.
All my fault. As usual. Because I don’t give in to her!

All my life this is the way “god” has been used.
Let’s go to the front of the church and be told sorry for the week of events and how loved I am.
But.
At least she admitted I did not kill my child in this conversation.

Do you need me to watch the end of times video where my head will be cut off or I’ll live in hell the rest of my days for not doing what you want and not getting on my knees 🙄 (part of my childhood!)

The end where she started to call me the the devil again. Yea she hung up at that point because the lies had already been spun.


I don’t care if I have to eat ramen noodles for all the rest of my days. I’m sick of this!

THIS IS EVIL! I don’t care who you are... the LIES. 😑

And to add to it. SidneyBlake my dead son was MEANT to go to HEAVEN. So I guess I was never MEANT TO HAVE HIM?? No that’s right. God TOOK him from me.. or did I kill him??

And she thinks this is ok!! 

This is the first one! This was her at my window.


This one is her denying it and then admitting to it! 
Gas-lighting, lies & trying to make me feel crazy!

Who does this!?! Oh I do. I make all this up.
I am destroying myself and my family.
I killed my dad and son too.
I love how she gets away with this,
Yet she’s such a big Christian. 😑
If this is of God I want NO PART IN IT!


 Whatever it’s all my fault. She is living just the life she is suppose to live.
Yea ok. And it’s snowing in HELL right now.


Amanda in color- Facebook:




Popular posts from this blog

My daddy loved me.

  Life wasn’t always easy with dad, especially when he was so drugged up you couldn’t stand to be around him, he was either hateful & vile or so depressed he talked about wanting to die to be free of it all.. at the times he talked about wanting to die I had no idea how he could even say that when he had me & 2 beautiful grandchildren to live for, even a 3rd on the way & his last day before he died it laid in bed with a dry mouth and spoke death to be free… he even wrote a letter that he was never enough.. nothing he did or gave was enough.. I can’t even tell you the times he talked about suicide or went on drives not to even be found to be free from her mouth… accusing him of women after women… the hell, the arguments, the fights… the accusations… the drama, the lies… ughh…  Broken iPads, a woman beat in Walmart, my baby shower ruined, my husbands job ruined, my sons 4th of July baby race ruined.:. So much shit & here she sits… like she’s the victim who lost her husban

It FINALLY happened.

(Recordings coming soon!!!) I am READY. I’ll be the “crazy one”… my body heart & health is exhausted carrying the abuse, hurt and trauma I’ve been living with.. hiding… covering up to “not hurt my mother” because she always made me cover up and lie about it!!!! Ughhh  It’s been a hell of a few days. Some big things are coming I have listened to more recordings than I even care to hear and completely disgusted that I even thought my mother would ever change.. hearing the hell I’ve been put through and reliving the horror of abuse plus reading my notes to piece it all for my book & the media including the sexual acts just to feed myself or meet at a hotel room and pretty much sell myself to have a bed to sleep in or as I lived in a friends empty apartment after she moved out, yet she kept it for me to live there because I was struggling.. I am just so upset that I ever hid the abuse thinking one day my “mother”? No my incubator / because a mother doesnt do this crap to their chil

Narcissistic Mother.

This is the hardest thing for me.. you see as children of narcissistic mothers you never really learn what true love is and often times bounce through life wondering how anyone else could possibly love you when the one who grew you in their stomach didn’t even love you. The reality is your mother is the sick twisted one who programmed you since you were a seed in her stomach and birthed you into a cage to keep you under her control and always make you look like the problem.  All my life I was the problem, unfortunately when you are programmed since before you were even born you always believe it’s you, even into adulthood. And unfortunately you always hope and wait, even hide abuse, because you’re trapped in a cage and your whole identity is built around your narcissistic mother so you never have a true identity and most often times don’t learn until you’re much older at which point she’s already painted who she wants everyone to believe you are while you hide the abuse you do recogniz