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So TRUE!!! I’ve learned my only real family is my boys who live here with me.. a few extended family members & the friends who have became family. 

The past 2 years especially, I’ve learned so much about “family” especially the one who “birthed” me.. I’ve prayed for her to change but she won’t, not living in the lies anyway & honestly I’m not sugar coating it anymore, I don’t care who doesn’t like my truth! I am not here to wear a mask anymore, I’ve did that for way to long and had I took the mask off and went with my gut my dad and son could still be here!!

Honestly, my birthday was very hard this year, but I won’t even go there today... after court I will say more.. at this point, I know someday she will regret it.. she knows the truth. Over the past week especially she knows. But she knew the same truth when my dad was overdosing.. and well we all know where that ended... THE GRAVE!!!!!!!!! 

but I’m getting stronger and stronger EVERYDAY. My  therapist even told me it’s time I find and use my voice! I haven’t for so long, had I listened to my heart so many things would be different right now but I continued to believe the lies, all of them, I just get sick when I hear and see so many of the same lies and denial that I did when I watched my dad die.. his life apparently didn’t matter and I can tell that mine and my children’s doesn’t either if it means she gets “any attention” even if negative. I just hope that little money he throws her occasionally is worth it. Money is evil but what’s more evil is that dirty money means more than family and when I finish my book you will know exactly what I mean. 

I’m so glad I don’t believe the lies anymore, but the truth remains dads dead & so is my son, and well they were I guess they were just disposable in a sick mind, especially one who “likes” pictures like the one below, 
 It makes me laugh to see the “like” on this knowing my dad, my son, my husband, my children and even I have been destroyed... yet it doesn’t even seem to matter when the truth is known. Heck even some witnessed first hand... #vengeanceisHIS

I guess to everyone but me, my husband and my children .. because we lost a dad, papa, son & brother.... we can’t just go find another one.. #Karmawillcome 

You know a widow can move on and live life, but a child is forever left parentless & I’m also left childless, yet, she sits and listens to the threats and it obviously doesn’t matter or at least her actions doesn’t prove her words she tells me, unfortunately they didn’t when dad was drugging either so at this point actions are louder and  I refuse to watch one of my children end up in a body bag because of them now!! 

And while I’m here; I saw the court records; but once it happens it will be to late because I am not standing up and fighting when she’s had the truth before her and knows good and well the snake pit she’s in.. there is no going “gracefully” anymore!! 

Truth is truth.. I don’t know what court brings but I PROMISE YOU....there will be eyes opened and I will NOT let him threaten & bully me anymore.. I don’t care if he takes my dads estate & assets... he will NOT take another child from me NOR swill I go out in his “BODYBAG”!!!!

I’ll be wearing my papas mill tie tack, that him and my dad wore before the casket closed on them to court knowing him and my dad and SidneyBlake are all right beside me!! 

They have both ROLLER OVER in their grave over this!!!! 



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Overdose Awareness: Dad.

I will be adding to this post & will remove this when I’m finished, so if you see this FYI know this blog post isn’t finished. Dad. I have no words. I could say a million things, yet, I hear the echoes of how your body was a “soup kitchen of drugs”, the lies of regimens, “I’m controlling his medication & blah blah blah, the lies. & all the times I tried to save you, but my voice, cries for help & pleas didn’t matter. Now that you’re gone life goes on for some, but for others like me & the boys, you can’t just be replaced, it doesn’t matter that drugs took you away from your only daughter & grandchildren.. I can’t just go find another dad. Although the more I learn the more I understand why death seemed easier than life. (SemiColon) Justice will come.. I don’t care what anyone says, I didn’t like who you were when you were drugged up, but you were always my daddy, you were there when the drugs didn’t keep you away and you sure as heck would not stand

My daddy loved me.

  Life wasn’t always easy with dad, especially when he was so drugged up you couldn’t stand to be around him, he was either hateful & vile or so depressed he talked about wanting to die to be free of it all.. at the times he talked about wanting to die I had no idea how he could even say that when he had me & 2 beautiful grandchildren to live for, even a 3rd on the way & his last day before he died it laid in bed with a dry mouth and spoke death to be free… he even wrote a letter that he was never enough.. nothing he did or gave was enough.. I can’t even tell you the times he talked about suicide or went on drives not to even be found to be free from her mouth… accusing him of women after women… the hell, the arguments, the fights… the accusations… the drama, the lies… ughh…  Broken iPads, a woman beat in Walmart, my baby shower ruined, my husbands job ruined, my sons 4th of July baby race ruined.:. So much shit & here she sits… like she’s the victim who lost her husban

Overdue. RIP daddy.

(It’s late & this was a very hard post for me! I will be editing this with some voice recordings, court documents, police reports & more in the very near future so please check back for more details soon!!) to my daddy… thanks for loving me hard when you were in sound mind..without the drugs & I’m sorry I didn’t see through the lies that left so many unanswered questions… at your death. I’m one day closer to seeing you!”) ……….  So after today’s appointment I feel like I need to write this post. As many or probably all of you know at this point my dad is dead. Above you will see the final picture of him on earth. Without life. Laying in his casket. Prematurely. What comes next is a mystery that unfortunately I’m not sure will ever get solved although I still have hope that someday before I take my last breath here I will have the answers I’ve been seeking.. Unfortunately I don’t know for certain if his overdose or as I was told “his body was a drug soup kitchen” was intentio