Skip to main content

Heartbroken.




I have this overwhelming desire to adopt a little girl who is unwanted by her mother. My health is not where it needs to be for that commitment, but, I want so badly to protect her and love her, so she never has to feel the pain & heartache I feel. Death seems better than the hurt, pain, heartbreak & even hearing “Im sorry I brought you into this world”. Well, I am sorry she did too, honestly. Yes I have a beautiful family, but I would have never known of them had she just “never brought me here”. Just knowing my own mother doesn’t love me, even going as far to sit by my abuser in court, yet still has the audacity to tell me she loves me makes me sick. I believed all the lies. Not all parents or grandparents love. Taylor was a year older than my SidneyBlake & I just can’t even. I’ll never understand why a mother doesn’t love or protect their child... ever. To me a mother who doesn’t love, protect or harms her child has a special place in hell. God gifted you that child to love and if you can’t or don’t want to there are many others out there who can and will!

(That’s what adoption is for! Don’t keep them for selfish reasons of your own, so they have to heal, seek therapy, or even commit suicide to be free of the hurt, heartache, abuse & suffering you caused them! I promised my dad I would NEVER rely on medication, EVEN with the death of my son I didn’t, but today the HELL my mommy dearest & “her friend” has put me through and claimed victim has caused me to be on medication daily to function the threats and abuse and even flashbacks of stuff I had to “sit down and shut up” on. While she goes out shopping, I cringe walking into a store because of her. (That story is coming!) everyone doesn’t live behind the white picket fence that is put on. Masks hide so much. Trust me wolves wear sheep’s clothes!

RIP Sweet Taylor ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜ญ


More to be added here! Check back soon ๐Ÿ’”

Popular posts from this blog

My daddy loved me.

  Life wasn’t always easy with dad, especially when he was so drugged up you couldn’t stand to be around him, he was either hateful & vile or so depressed he talked about wanting to die to be free of it all.. at the times he talked about wanting to die I had no idea how he could even say that when he had me & 2 beautiful grandchildren to live for, even a 3rd on the way & his last day before he died it laid in bed with a dry mouth and spoke death to be free… he even wrote a letter that he was never enough.. nothing he did or gave was enough.. I can’t even tell you the times he talked about suicide or went on drives not to even be found to be free from her mouth… accusing him of women after women… the hell, the arguments, the fights… the accusations… the drama, the lies… ughh…  Broken iPads, a woman beat in Walmart, my baby shower ruined, my husbands job ruined, my sons 4th of July baby race ruined.:. So much shit & here she sits… like she’s the victim who lost her husban

Well. It continues..

  & my son also. Thanks MOTHER. Yup I sure have. I seen him there (overdosed or drugged?) I have yet to figure out which yet because the person who birthed me “controlled his medicine” & her lies are thick. I am not sure she knows what truth is for anything. If it comes out her mouth it’s a lie, sadly she puts on such a show that she has some believe what comes out, but for the most part she is just tolerated and people “laugh in her face” “even her friends” hummm that is a statement I was told funny how them words were more fitting for her and the piece of shits mouth they came from.. in the near future you will see a picture of my dad in the last state I saw him in. It is disgusting. I’ve not had the strength to put it out yet because it’s horrible & so many will be shocked. Also recordings from my own dad & many others will also shock you.. but to me it’s a final piece  of where it’s all about to go & hopefully justice is served.. it’s hard knowing what is coming

It FINALLY happened.

(Recordings coming soon!!!) I am READY. I’ll be the “crazy one”… my body heart & health is exhausted carrying the abuse, hurt and trauma I’ve been living with.. hiding… covering up to “not hurt my mother” because she always made me cover up and lie about it!!!! Ughhh  It’s been a hell of a few days. Some big things are coming I have listened to more recordings than I even care to hear and completely disgusted that I even thought my mother would ever change.. hearing the hell I’ve been put through and reliving the horror of abuse plus reading my notes to piece it all for my book & the media including the sexual acts just to feed myself or meet at a hotel room and pretty much sell myself to have a bed to sleep in or as I lived in a friends empty apartment after she moved out, yet she kept it for me to live there because I was struggling.. I am just so upset that I ever hid the abuse thinking one day my “mother”? No my incubator / because a mother doesnt do this crap to their chil