Amanda in Color. FB post. 2/3/20




I can relate so much to the link below!! This absolutely speaks to my soul. I say this all the time, but, before losing my son I just didn’t get child loss, I knew child loss had to be hard, because I knew how much I loved my children, but I could never ever imagine the true pain.. until I lost SidneyBlake..

Likewise, until you know what it’s like to live without a mother who loves you.. don’t even try to grasp the reality of what someone goes through, living it. It’s not what the world has painted & you can’t even began to understood unless you to are living it. Just because she’s labeled mom, doesn’t make her one.

The words “I love you” are frequently said out of habit. With no meaning. Because that’s what the world has taught us... for someone who truly loves, those words doesn’t even have to be said, the actions prove them. The words are just nice & warm to match the actions.. If the actions don’t like up with the words.. they are empty..
& the words are who you pretend to be.. not who you really are. I don’t want any more empty words. Hearing her say I love you makes my stomach hurt.. to the point of wanting to puke.
They are empty words that don’t line up with any of her actions. Sorry not sorry.

I did not want to be brought into this world, nor I did I ask to be brought here either, but I’m here now and it’s her loss.. she’s lost an awesome daughter, thankfully God & others have told me my worth, 3 amazing grandchildren, who would have loved her more than anyone, one of which she will never know, an awesome son in law who done anything for her, but, she will never have access to me, my children or my grandchildren again.. even if she takes everything my dad said would always be mine.. I’ll just struggle the rest of my life before I let her or her “friend” poison my family any more... I wish so much she would get help, but she won’t, this was the same life my dad lived.. to prideful for help. & sees nothing wrong with her actions.

https://puckermom.com/relationships/to-the-daughters-who-let-go-of-their-toxic-mothers/