As you’ve mostly watched, I have been doing really well.. so much so that I was finally able to breathe again & my family has been super blessed. We as a family have been taking a different path of healing to overcome the trials we have faced.. I’ve been focused on my family, loving them & those that love me, but, typical narcissistic mother fashion, she felt like she was losing control & losing me as a supply so she tried to hoover me back.. thankfully I have learned her games and lies and I am no longer the “rabbit trying to save the lion” from the cage, knowing she will just devour me again..
So I kept my guard up. I knew she was up to something, now, I’ve since learned life wasn’t grand for her in her make believe world.
Unfortunately as children of narcissistic mothers, they have abused and manipulated us to believe we have to be that supply and validate them no matter what.. She poured it on thick. As temporary as I knew it would be, it’s never easy to be cycled in their hoovering scheme.. it triggered my CPTSD so bad and even flashed back horrible things..
But THANK God for my therapist & friends who remind me and keep me grounded from the lies out of her mouth... & even added extra therapy this week to overcome the damage she’s caused in the last few days.. because I wasn’t strong enough to shut it down but, I am getting stronger EVERYDAY..
I still have not completed my walls to her and she gets satisfaction from that this time, but it’s coming! There are BIG things coming and soon.. she will sulk & drown alone in her lies... SOON. But for the last 3 days she’s poured her lies to break me... and I admit, her words has been something I’ve craved from her, but they are on repeat like the hiss from a snake & carry just as much venom, she knows all the right words & usually it breaks me, HARD, but, I am NOT BROKEN this time..
however, I still need prayer against her evil attempt to put me back in her cage, so her and her friend can continue to destroy me... she knew exactly what she was doing & her hoovering FAILED. But I did feel the effects of her lying words & now, I am having to get back on track.. it’s like a recovering from a bad addiction- everyone craves a mother.. just my mother is “toxic & ￼ poisonous” and I have to stay strong against her and her lies..
Continue to pray for me please! I only share this because someone else needs to know they are not alone.. and locking arms against this abuse is the only way to overcome our abusive mothers!