Skip to main content

Facebook post 3/24/2020





Tonight I could use some prayers.

As you’ve mostly watched, I have been doing really well.. so much so that I was finally able to breathe again & my family has been super blessed. We as a family have been taking a different path of healing to overcome the trials we have faced.. I’ve been focused on my family, loving them & those that love me, but, typical narcissistic mother fashion, she felt like she was losing control & losing me as a supply so she tried to hoover me back.. thankfully I have learned her games and lies and I am no longer the “rabbit trying to save the lion” from the cage, knowing she will just devour me again..

So I kept my guard up. I knew she was up to something, now, I’ve since learned life wasn’t grand for her in her make believe world.

Unfortunately as children of narcissistic mothers, they have abused and manipulated us to believe we have to be that supply and validate them no matter what.. She poured it on thick. As temporary as I knew it would be, it’s never easy to be cycled in their hoovering scheme.. it triggered my CPTSD so bad and even flashed back horrible things..

But THANK God for my therapist & friends who remind me and keep me grounded from the lies out of her mouth... & even added extra therapy this week to overcome the damage she’s caused in the last few days.. because I wasn’t strong enough to shut it down but, I am getting stronger EVERYDAY..

I still have not completed my walls to her and she gets satisfaction from that this time, but it’s coming! There are BIG things coming and soon.. she will sulk & drown alone in her lies... SOON. But for the last 3 days she’s poured her lies to break me... and I admit, her words has been something I’ve craved from her, but they are on repeat like the hiss from a snake & carry just as much venom, she knows all the right words & usually it breaks me, HARD, but, I am NOT BROKEN this time..

however, I still need prayer against her evil attempt to put me back in her cage, so her and her friend can continue to destroy me... she knew exactly what she was doing & her hoovering FAILED. But I did feel the effects of her lying words & now, I am having to get back on track.. it’s like a recovering from a bad addiction- everyone craves a mother.. just my mother is “toxic &  poisonous” and I have to stay strong against her and her lies..

Continue to pray for me please! I only share this because someone else needs to know they are not alone.. and locking arms against this abuse is the only way to overcome our abusive mothers!

Popular posts from this blog

My daddy loved me.

  Life wasn’t always easy with dad, especially when he was so drugged up you couldn’t stand to be around him, he was either hateful & vile or so depressed he talked about wanting to die to be free of it all.. at the times he talked about wanting to die I had no idea how he could even say that when he had me & 2 beautiful grandchildren to live for, even a 3rd on the way & his last day before he died it laid in bed with a dry mouth and spoke death to be free… he even wrote a letter that he was never enough.. nothing he did or gave was enough.. I can’t even tell you the times he talked about suicide or went on drives not to even be found to be free from her mouth… accusing him of women after women… the hell, the arguments, the fights… the accusations… the drama, the lies… ughh…  Broken iPads, a woman beat in Walmart, my baby shower ruined, my husbands job ruined, my sons 4th of July baby race ruined.:. So much shit & here she sits… like she’s the victim who lost her husban

Well. It continues..

  & my son also. Thanks MOTHER. Yup I sure have. I seen him there (overdosed or drugged?) I have yet to figure out which yet because the person who birthed me “controlled his medicine” & her lies are thick. I am not sure she knows what truth is for anything. If it comes out her mouth it’s a lie, sadly she puts on such a show that she has some believe what comes out, but for the most part she is just tolerated and people “laugh in her face” “even her friends” hummm that is a statement I was told funny how them words were more fitting for her and the piece of shits mouth they came from.. in the near future you will see a picture of my dad in the last state I saw him in. It is disgusting. I’ve not had the strength to put it out yet because it’s horrible & so many will be shocked. Also recordings from my own dad & many others will also shock you.. but to me it’s a final piece  of where it’s all about to go & hopefully justice is served.. it’s hard knowing what is coming

It FINALLY happened.

(Recordings coming soon!!!) I am READY. I’ll be the “crazy one”… my body heart & health is exhausted carrying the abuse, hurt and trauma I’ve been living with.. hiding… covering up to “not hurt my mother” because she always made me cover up and lie about it!!!! Ughhh  It’s been a hell of a few days. Some big things are coming I have listened to more recordings than I even care to hear and completely disgusted that I even thought my mother would ever change.. hearing the hell I’ve been put through and reliving the horror of abuse plus reading my notes to piece it all for my book & the media including the sexual acts just to feed myself or meet at a hotel room and pretty much sell myself to have a bed to sleep in or as I lived in a friends empty apartment after she moved out, yet she kept it for me to live there because I was struggling.. I am just so upset that I ever hid the abuse thinking one day my “mother”? No my incubator / because a mother doesnt do this crap to their chil