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 I’ve posted some new blogs! 


 + AmandainColor.com


& created a new YouTube channel!


+ https://youtube.com/channel/UCcY-vMMDFS_f3YBUzlZDWFw


+++ a BOOK IS IN THE WORKS!!! 


“Never sit down and shut up!”


She wants to call me “DeManda” because I’m so “demanding”, well.. (recording coming soon!)

yes “monster” I am.. I am demanding freedom, from the mental & emotional abuse, the trauma, the absence of a mother who loved, the premature death of my dad and son due to YOUR denial &  negligence, the abuse you’ve allowed me to suffer while turning your head, the image of you sitting in the court room with my abuser, the theft & price changes, the lies.. +++ so much more to be revealed.. I am DEMANDA, demanding to be free of the razor wire you’ve wrapped around my neck! You are a sick individual. 

Most children only fear make believe monsters, unfortunately mine was not just make believe, you are a real life monster! + you had the audacity to call me the evil & full of the devil one?

“I’ll sit down and shut up one day but that day won’t come with you getting by with all the hell you’ve put me and my children through, or watched us go through & God only knows what dad went through to be a “soul kitchen of drugs” at his death!”

You my monster dearest are POISON!

🐍 & so is that little nasty disgusting garbage man Artie Jones who you sat with in court, who told me I killed my dad and child & threatened my family with body bags!! Bring your lies!!! My truth will destroy every lie you bring at me!! #MonsterMother #narcissist




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My daddy loved me.

  Life wasn’t always easy with dad, especially when he was so drugged up you couldn’t stand to be around him, he was either hateful & vile or so depressed he talked about wanting to die to be free of it all.. at the times he talked about wanting to die I had no idea how he could even say that when he had me & 2 beautiful grandchildren to live for, even a 3rd on the way & his last day before he died it laid in bed with a dry mouth and spoke death to be free… he even wrote a letter that he was never enough.. nothing he did or gave was enough.. I can’t even tell you the times he talked about suicide or went on drives not to even be found to be free from her mouth… accusing him of women after women… the hell, the arguments, the fights… the accusations… the drama, the lies… ughh…  Broken iPads, a woman beat in Walmart, my baby shower ruined, my husbands job ruined, my sons 4th of July baby race ruined.:. So much shit & here she sits… like she’s the victim who lost her husban

Well. It continues..

  & my son also. Thanks MOTHER. Yup I sure have. I seen him there (overdosed or drugged?) I have yet to figure out which yet because the person who birthed me “controlled his medicine” & her lies are thick. I am not sure she knows what truth is for anything. If it comes out her mouth it’s a lie, sadly she puts on such a show that she has some believe what comes out, but for the most part she is just tolerated and people “laugh in her face” “even her friends” hummm that is a statement I was told funny how them words were more fitting for her and the piece of shits mouth they came from.. in the near future you will see a picture of my dad in the last state I saw him in. It is disgusting. I’ve not had the strength to put it out yet because it’s horrible & so many will be shocked. Also recordings from my own dad & many others will also shock you.. but to me it’s a final piece  of where it’s all about to go & hopefully justice is served.. it’s hard knowing what is coming

It FINALLY happened.

(Recordings coming soon!!!) I am READY. I’ll be the “crazy one”… my body heart & health is exhausted carrying the abuse, hurt and trauma I’ve been living with.. hiding… covering up to “not hurt my mother” because she always made me cover up and lie about it!!!! Ughhh  It’s been a hell of a few days. Some big things are coming I have listened to more recordings than I even care to hear and completely disgusted that I even thought my mother would ever change.. hearing the hell I’ve been put through and reliving the horror of abuse plus reading my notes to piece it all for my book & the media including the sexual acts just to feed myself or meet at a hotel room and pretty much sell myself to have a bed to sleep in or as I lived in a friends empty apartment after she moved out, yet she kept it for me to live there because I was struggling.. I am just so upset that I ever hid the abuse thinking one day my “mother”? No my incubator / because a mother doesnt do this crap to their chil