Skip to main content

I can’t. EVEN.




 
Fb post: 1/5/2022
I can’t even make this up. So I sent “mommy dearest” a message because she was going to put money back into my acct… well this was her response :



Quit talking about me?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

My response: 



I'm sorry what? You want me to sit with tape over my mouth like I have my whole life? Ummmm. No thank you... them days are over. 

But... since you asked.. let me ask some things... 

can you please bring my dad & child back? Oh your response to this was… (they are dead. Goodbye Amanda.)

+ mother can you please sit with me in court, against my abuser, Who attacked me in your front yard, instead of at the table with him while he mentally & emotionally attacked me more in the court room with you sitting there? While you stared YOUR ONLY CHILD with glazed eyes?


+ Can you be a good loving protective mother? instead of asking me to be silent..& put duct tape over my mouth? why don’t you own what you’ve done & get help & be a better person.. ??? Take the mask off.. protect your family? I mean dad & SidneyBlake are dead.. because of the lies… who is next? Me! My other boys? Heck no I’m not being silent for your comfort anymore! I’ve been to the funeral home ENOUGH.

+ Can you please help me, comfort me, hold me, as I'm having a nervous breakdown in your front yard instead of leaving me there with police & paramedics who are strangers to me, hooking me up to ivs and machines, where I could have easily had a heart attack and died alone.. while you drove away with my abuser??? The one who caused me to have a nervous breakdown in front of you? Who just told me I KILLED MY DAD & CHILD?! Who lied before finding out it was RECORDED???

(You killed your child!) +can you please remove his words out my head that I killed my dad and child that hurt me EVERY FREAKING DAY & some days I want to freaking die to remove the words he etched into my head while you STARED AT ME & did NOTHING TO HELP-- while I grieve the loss of my dead child????!!? Who could still be here had I not slaved to take care of you!!!

& while we are here; erase the body bag threat & weapon threats against my family? So that we don't live in constant fear of when he will strike and put one of us in the body bags he's threatened us with so you can stand there and do nothing like you have in the past??? Because he would be happy if he didn’t see me tomorrow..

(never see me again)

+Can you please also keep that evil piece of scum off of my dads land & out his house where he ultimately overdosed & died? Since my dad hated him so much anyway? 

+Can you throw his ass under the bus like you claimed you were going to do & get away from him gracefully like you said? 

(under the bus)

But most of all... can you give me my dead child back that should & could have still been here..had I not slept on your floor running myself in the ground slaving to take care of you... excuse me? Where have you been??????? 

Pretty bold of you to ask me to go silent, you sure haven't been silent, NOR have you been truthful....

Now you want me to be silent because the TRUTH is uncomfortable for you???? 

Typical narcissistic mother.


I'll eat PB&J & ramen before I'm silent on the hell I've been through.. sorry I asked you for some money that dad left for you & I to survive on yet you took it from me quite a few months ago… I’ll figure it out… because, I ripped my duct tape off when you were lied to me OVER & OVER, when you refused to protect me or be there for me, when you wrecked havoc & hurt me over my sons funeral and then left me to go to the church alone so you could go be with your friends over your own child... & sooo much more!!! Ohhh and when you were ok with me committing suicide.. & it’s not going back on to keep you comfortable!! 

(Recording from my husband asking her to ride with him to get me- it’s disgusting— coming soon) 

=my dead child deserves to be with his family.. & my dad deserves to be here too.. you made your choice. I heard the call the other day of you asking what it would take for me to be silent or how much could you pay me to be quite... there is not enough money in the world & the only thing you could give me is take me back before June 1,2015 so I could save my dad & my son from their death!!!!! 

Maybe YOU should make better choices... try to be a better person & do the RIGHT thing for once.. look up the meaning of a mother... & start by protecting YOUR ONLY BLOOD. YOUR ONLY CHILD. YOUR ONLY GRANDCHILD who you’ve not seen since when??? you've not done a damn thing to help heal the damage you've caused or protect us.. & you’ve LIED about stuff I have PROOF of… & I know at the end of the day you are going to continue to hurt me and my children more and allow that evil POS to have everything my dad left! 

That's why you've not put the house in a survivorship deed to me yet like you said you would a long time ago!!!! You have no interest in being the mother God calls mothers to be… your actions have shown it.. if you want help then seek it & change.. don’t silence me from the abuse me & my family have endured! 

Ughhhh. I can't even believe you came at me with that.. like you have done or said.. NOTHING!! 

I’m sorry my truth is a brighter light then the lies & evilness you’ve watched YOUR CHILD go through..

& while we are here: 



Popular posts from this blog

Overdose Awareness: Dad.

I will be adding to this post & will remove this when I’m finished, so if you see this FYI know this blog post isn’t finished. Dad. I have no words. I could say a million things, yet, I hear the echoes of how your body was a “soup kitchen of drugs”, the lies of regimens, “I’m controlling his medication & blah blah blah, the lies. & all the times I tried to save you, but my voice, cries for help & pleas didn’t matter. Now that you’re gone life goes on for some, but for others like me & the boys, you can’t just be replaced, it doesn’t matter that drugs took you away from your only daughter & grandchildren.. I can’t just go find another dad. Although the more I learn the more I understand why death seemed easier than life. (SemiColon) Justice will come.. I don’t care what anyone says, I didn’t like who you were when you were drugged up, but you were always my daddy, you were there when the drugs didn’t keep you away and you sure as heck would not stand

Happy 4th Birthday in Heaven son!

Happy Birthday SidneyBlake!!!!  Right now: 5:08am August 5, 2015. My life was forever changed. Never to be the same again. Not long ago, this very morning, 4 years ago, my body gave out, I had already labored for days, and just couldn’t go on. I found myself laying on a hospital bed in a empty room screaming for someone to help me, no one was there but the nurses heard me, rushed in and told me you needed to be born STAT. I was so scared, they wouldn’t even let me call your dad.. he got a voice mail from the hospital, because he missed the call, and no one else was there to call him, luckily it woke him up and he immediately got on the road, it was an emergency and I had to go to the OR then and I didn’t know the outcome. It all happened so fast. I was rushed across the hall to the OR with a nurse on the bed with me, slid to the operating table and told to breathe deep, all in a matter of minutes of screaming for help. Any help! Anyone! Just someone to save you! I didn’t

Overdue. RIP daddy.

(It’s late & this was a very hard post for me! I will be editing this with some voice recordings, court documents, police reports & more in the very near future so please check back for more details soon!!) to my daddy… thanks for loving me hard when you were in sound mind..without the drugs & I’m sorry I didn’t see through the lies that left so many unanswered questions… at your death. I’m one day closer to seeing you!”) ……….  So after today’s appointment I feel like I need to write this post. As many or probably all of you know at this point my dad is dead. Above you will see the final picture of him on earth. Without life. Laying in his casket. Prematurely. What comes next is a mystery that unfortunately I’m not sure will ever get solved although I still have hope that someday before I take my last breath here I will have the answers I’ve been seeking.. Unfortunately I don’t know for certain if his overdose or as I was told “his body was a drug soup kitchen” was intentio