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Can’t breathe.

I absolutely CAN NOT BREATHE.
My “mother” & her maggot can laugh this one up! They get pleasure out of my suffering and pain, clearly after the abuse, mentally, emotionally, verbally & physical hell they have caused me!! I literally can’t even breathe.
I can not work or even function because of the hell, abuse & trauma dealt to me & I can’t even afford to put groceries on my table. I sent this last message to the incubator!! She wants to support the abuse & evil done to me & my children and watch us suffer well one day her day will come! Karma has addresses & can get in any gate!

They can BOTH go straight to he&$ for the abuse they have put me through I am about to post even more recordings that I’ve hidden away because it destroys me to know a mother can say these things to a child they birthed.. but..


I’ve lived though ENOUGH HELL & covered up enough for her to live like she’s some big effing godly mother & christian, some big hero who was the best wife & mother, to a husband who “overdosed” & left this letter behind & a daughter she’s watched & added to my suffering, ultimately destroying me!

I’ve given her enough chances to be a Mother! 

I don’t need her clearly I am suffering alone & don’t even have 
money for food, gas, electricity or my medicine!!!

They can call me as sick & as crazy (recording) as they want but I am about to show just a TID BIT of the HELL I’ve suffered & wish I had recorded more!!! This hell has caused a reactive abuse from me…

Hummm narcissistic mother. 🤮

It hurts so effing bad to share some of this because a mother is supposed to love.. what you are about to hear is so disgusting & disturbing you will know exactly why I’m dying besides the fact I am a grieving mother to a dead child who I was told I killed & my dad too!!!

I don’t understand why God gave me to mother who hates 
me so bad she would tell me to go KILL myself, tell
me I’m full of the devil & FLAT OUT LIE about it and get so much pleasure out of my suffering; sit with my abuser, abuse me herself & still hide behind a mask.. 


The ABUSE has destroyed me!!!

- I have had several people ask if they could send me money since she took my money dad left me months ago and I’ve always declined but I need help.. I will need funds to buy some food, pay my bills & afford my medicine..

I am working on disability but that will take a while..

My PayPal is:

Email for PayPal :
Please send friends & family! 

I’ll add Venmo & cash app soon/ 
I have a go fund me but they take so much out I don’t want to use it unless that’s the only option you have: also I can give me address if you prefer check/money order! Just let me know!

I appreciate all the love, support & help: I’ve just got to finally accept she will always be who she is… a narcissistic mother.

Edit to add she put &100.00 in my acct 🙄 (next blog!)

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Overdose Awareness: Dad.

I will be adding to this post & will remove this when I’m finished, so if you see this FYI know this blog post isn’t finished. Dad. I have no words. I could say a million things, yet, I hear the echoes of how your body was a “soup kitchen of drugs”, the lies of regimens, “I’m controlling his medication & blah blah blah, the lies. & all the times I tried to save you, but my voice, cries for help & pleas didn’t matter. Now that you’re gone life goes on for some, but for others like me & the boys, you can’t just be replaced, it doesn’t matter that drugs took you away from your only daughter & grandchildren.. I can’t just go find another dad. Although the more I learn the more I understand why death seemed easier than life. (SemiColon) Justice will come.. I don’t care what anyone says, I didn’t like who you were when you were drugged up, but you were always my daddy, you were there when the drugs didn’t keep you away and you sure as heck would not stand

My daddy loved me.

  Life wasn’t always easy with dad, especially when he was so drugged up you couldn’t stand to be around him, he was either hateful & vile or so depressed he talked about wanting to die to be free of it all.. at the times he talked about wanting to die I had no idea how he could even say that when he had me & 2 beautiful grandchildren to live for, even a 3rd on the way & his last day before he died it laid in bed with a dry mouth and spoke death to be free… he even wrote a letter that he was never enough.. nothing he did or gave was enough.. I can’t even tell you the times he talked about suicide or went on drives not to even be found to be free from her mouth… accusing him of women after women… the hell, the arguments, the fights… the accusations… the drama, the lies… ughh…  Broken iPads, a woman beat in Walmart, my baby shower ruined, my husbands job ruined, my sons 4th of July baby race ruined.:. So much shit & here she sits… like she’s the victim who lost her husban

Overdue. RIP daddy.

(It’s late & this was a very hard post for me! I will be editing this with some voice recordings, court documents, police reports & more in the very near future so please check back for more details soon!!) to my daddy… thanks for loving me hard when you were in sound mind..without the drugs & I’m sorry I didn’t see through the lies that left so many unanswered questions… at your death. I’m one day closer to seeing you!”) ……….  So after today’s appointment I feel like I need to write this post. As many or probably all of you know at this point my dad is dead. Above you will see the final picture of him on earth. Without life. Laying in his casket. Prematurely. What comes next is a mystery that unfortunately I’m not sure will ever get solved although I still have hope that someday before I take my last breath here I will have the answers I’ve been seeking.. Unfortunately I don’t know for certain if his overdose or as I was told “his body was a drug soup kitchen” was intentio