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Can’t breathe.

I absolutely CAN NOT BREATHE.
My “mother” & her maggot can laugh this one up! They get pleasure out of my suffering and pain, clearly after the abuse, mentally, emotionally, verbally & physical hell they have caused me!! I literally can’t even breathe.
I can not work or even function because of the hell, abuse & trauma dealt to me & I can’t even afford to put groceries on my table. I sent this last message to the incubator!! She wants to support the abuse & evil done to me & my children and watch us suffer well one day her day will come! Karma has addresses & can get in any gate!

They can BOTH go straight to he&$ for the abuse they have put me through I am about to post even more recordings that I’ve hidden away because it destroys me to know a mother can say these things to a child they birthed.. but..


I’ve lived though ENOUGH HELL & covered up enough for her to live like she’s some big effing godly mother & christian, some big hero who was the best wife & mother, to a husband who “overdosed” & left this letter behind & a daughter she’s watched & added to my suffering, ultimately destroying me!

I’ve given her enough chances to be a Mother! 

I don’t need her clearly I am suffering alone & don’t even have 
money for food, gas, electricity or my medicine!!!

They can call me as sick & as crazy (recording) as they want but I am about to show just a TID BIT of the HELL I’ve suffered & wish I had recorded more!!! This hell has caused a reactive abuse from me…

Hummm narcissistic mother. 🤮

It hurts so effing bad to share some of this because a mother is supposed to love.. what you are about to hear is so disgusting & disturbing you will know exactly why I’m dying besides the fact I am a grieving mother to a dead child who I was told I killed & my dad too!!!

I don’t understand why God gave me to mother who hates 
me so bad she would tell me to go KILL myself, tell
me I’m full of the devil & FLAT OUT LIE about it and get so much pleasure out of my suffering; sit with my abuser, abuse me herself & still hide behind a mask.. 


The ABUSE has destroyed me!!!

- I have had several people ask if they could send me money since she took my money dad left me months ago and I’ve always declined but I need help.. I will need funds to buy some food, pay my bills & afford my medicine..

I am working on disability but that will take a while..

My PayPal is:

Email for PayPal :
Please send friends & family! 

I’ll add Venmo & cash app soon/ 
I have a go fund me but they take so much out I don’t want to use it unless that’s the only option you have: also I can give me address if you prefer check/money order! Just let me know!

I appreciate all the love, support & help: I’ve just got to finally accept she will always be who she is… a narcissistic mother.

Edit to add she put &100.00 in my acct 🙄 (next blog!)

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My daddy loved me.

  Life wasn’t always easy with dad, especially when he was so drugged up you couldn’t stand to be around him, he was either hateful & vile or so depressed he talked about wanting to die to be free of it all.. at the times he talked about wanting to die I had no idea how he could even say that when he had me & 2 beautiful grandchildren to live for, even a 3rd on the way & his last day before he died it laid in bed with a dry mouth and spoke death to be free… he even wrote a letter that he was never enough.. nothing he did or gave was enough.. I can’t even tell you the times he talked about suicide or went on drives not to even be found to be free from her mouth… accusing him of women after women… the hell, the arguments, the fights… the accusations… the drama, the lies… ughh…  Broken iPads, a woman beat in Walmart, my baby shower ruined, my husbands job ruined, my sons 4th of July baby race ruined.:. So much shit & here she sits… like she’s the victim who lost her husban

It FINALLY happened.

(Recordings coming soon!!!) I am READY. I’ll be the “crazy one”… my body heart & health is exhausted carrying the abuse, hurt and trauma I’ve been living with.. hiding… covering up to “not hurt my mother” because she always made me cover up and lie about it!!!! Ughhh  It’s been a hell of a few days. Some big things are coming I have listened to more recordings than I even care to hear and completely disgusted that I even thought my mother would ever change.. hearing the hell I’ve been put through and reliving the horror of abuse plus reading my notes to piece it all for my book & the media including the sexual acts just to feed myself or meet at a hotel room and pretty much sell myself to have a bed to sleep in or as I lived in a friends empty apartment after she moved out, yet she kept it for me to live there because I was struggling.. I am just so upset that I ever hid the abuse thinking one day my “mother”? No my incubator / because a mother doesnt do this crap to their chil

Well. It continues..

  & my son also. Thanks MOTHER. Yup I sure have. I seen him there (overdosed or drugged?) I have yet to figure out which yet because the person who birthed me “controlled his medicine” & her lies are thick. I am not sure she knows what truth is for anything. If it comes out her mouth it’s a lie, sadly she puts on such a show that she has some believe what comes out, but for the most part she is just tolerated and people “laugh in her face” “even her friends” hummm that is a statement I was told funny how them words were more fitting for her and the piece of shits mouth they came from.. in the near future you will see a picture of my dad in the last state I saw him in. It is disgusting. I’ve not had the strength to put it out yet because it’s horrible & so many will be shocked. Also recordings from my own dad & many others will also shock you.. but to me it’s a final piece  of where it’s all about to go & hopefully justice is served.. it’s hard knowing what is coming