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Bereaved Mother’s Day

 


FB post 5.1.22-

I can not write the words “happy” before International bereave Mother’s Day.. there is nothing happy about any day living without one of my children.. today is a recognized day of grief for mothers who have empty arms, a hole in their broken heart, many questions with no answers, a lot of missed milestones & a grave or urn that holds the remains of their child who should be here with us today.. it’s gut wrenching… the sad truth to today is.. we don’t only recognize today as a day of the loss of our child/children.. like Mother’s Day traditionally for just one day & then it’s over, bereaved Mother’s Day is everyday for us. We wake up every single day without a piece of our heart & every breath hurts… today a lot of mothers will share their children because it’s a day they can do it without feeling the pressure of the world for grieving their child… & it shouldn’t be that way. A mother should be able to speak of their child who has passed just as a mother who speaks of their child who is alive… without it being uncomfortable!! Do you think we want to live everyday without our child? Do you think our child means any less because they are no longer on earth with us?? If you are one of those who get uncomfortable with talking about a child who is no longer here, then be thankful you don’t know the gut wrenching, heart breaking, soul crushing pain that we feel EVERYDAY for the rest of our lives.. today is just another reminder that our child is gone… & a recognized day for a loss that is unimaginable…. 


SidneyBlake I love you everyday son. Every breath makes me closer to you. Every heartbeat hurts.

We talk about you all the time son..

You are loved, you were wanted, you will never be forgotten… I look for you in everyday all day, even in my dreams. 💙


It hurts so damn much living without my boy. Today I hear the words I killed him. Just like everyday. Today I also am reminded that my own mother doesn’t want me. Today I am one day closer to being gone from this earth, from the maggot who told me I killed my child & my own mother who sat by him while he destroyed me.. I hope she feels just a piece of the pain of losing a child.. which she won’t because she didn’t want me while I was here… I still see her leaving me laying on her lawn having a nervous breakdown & on my abusers side of the courtroom — I am already dead to her.. just not in the body bags the scum of the earth threatened me with while she stood there.. remember that next time you see them together or she tells you she loves & misses me…. 

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My daddy loved me.

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