Skip to main content

Posts

But that’s your daughter!

 My best friend Kelly sent this to me today: it is SPOT ON! Thank you Kelly for this reminder.. I love you! πŸ’•  •For all my sisters out there who hear “but she’s your mother” .. this is for you! YOU ARE BREAKING CURSES! - For the ones who don’t know what walking in the shoes feels like.. or know the trauma a mother is capable of.. read this! We were not out here to be abused by our mothers and accept it! I don’t care if we only get one mother.. she doesn’t have the right to destroy us.. just because she birthed us! PLEASE READ THIS!  ••••••• “But that’s your daughter!” Why are these words never spoken? Why is it that when adult child estrangement happens, in almost any scenario, (and no matter how wrong they are), mothers are comforted with phrases like, “Oh, I’m so sorry. You must be heart broken. I can’t believe she’s treating you this way!” Then, they turn to us when we pour our broken hearts out and murmur things like,  “But she’s your mother” “But you only get one mom.” (Yes [inse

Bloody hands.

  FB POST: 8/10/2021 I’ve really been struggling with my mental, emotional & physical health. My body aches.. I am in intense therapy to overcome the trauma and abuse. I don’t know where I’m headed right now, but every breath has been hard & hurts. The abuse & trauma at the hands of the woman who birthed me has about buried me alive & it’s exhausting digging myself out. I know now why my dad said the things he did, wrote the letter he did and laid down to die… The PTSD, depression & anxiety of it all has about taken me out..  +I am working hard on getting better for my boys, but, I have also shut so many other people out… because I’m just not capable of being a friend.. I have a hard time accepting any ones love when my mother can tell me she loves me; yet she’s abused me & watched me be abused, the love word takes a whole new meaning..  +I even struggle with being a mom.. I’m broken damaged & wore out.. in all areas of life.. and I’m tired of hiding & f

Danger Monster Calling

  Funny how she can tell me not to call her anymore.. & to have a nice life..  Then. BLOCK ME. & now she calls me? This is EMOTIONAL & MENTAL abuse at its finest. I can’t even imagine what my dad went through. Now I know why he called her a f+*¥ing B!&#% & wrote the letter he did before he died. I will be sharing that recording of his very own voice soon. But this is real life for me.I guess I’m at her “disposal” like I’ve always been, I’m suppose to be reachable by her at all times & her have access to me but it’s not the other way around.. that’s why she wasn’t there when my son died nor any of my sickness & surgery but I have been there for all of hers until I really learned who she was..  &&& She wants to say she’s a victim… pshh. She’s a liar. Who really calls someone knowing they have blocked them?  knowing they can’t return a call even if they wanted to?! None other than a mental & emotional narcissist abuser. AKA- the monster who birt

Semicolon ;

  Fb post: 8/10/2021 ; my story isn’t over yet ; I sure try HARD. & Most days it’s super hard to even breathe. Most don’t realize how hard it is.. for that I’m thankful you don’t feel this deep dark pain… There have been days I just wanted to die to be free of the hurt & suffering.. suicide ideation has been real for me. Yet I keep it silent. +My mother has destroyed me: on top of other difficult life issues I’ve been faced with.. like the loss of my dad & son. It has all been to much. The truths are all revealing themselves yet the child in me hears the threats trying to shut me up and stripping me of my feelings & voice. +All the unresolved issues with my dad before his death & many more demons from my childhood.. & I rely on my therapist, medications, oils, my husband & boys.. & journal.. to get through the days.. & survive the  torture chamber in my mind.. then I feel super guilty that they have to pick up the pieces of a “real life monster” who

BLOCK BY THE “MONSTER”

Fb post: 8/8/2021 * I’ll be adding more to this post…. * Check back!  (My children are my LIFE. They will NEVER be cut from me. Not be able to reach me or be blocked from calling me.. EVER… I guess my therapist was right; some mothers wasn’t meant to be mothers & mine is definitely one of those!”) I was told she did this so I wasn’t to shocked when it was confirmed and it was confirmed today. I am just more disgusted than anything.. what mother does this? Apparently mine..  — soooooooo……  DO NOT under any circumstances believe the lies out my “monsters” mouth when she cries how much she loves, misses & hasn’t heard from us.. some kids only have nightmares of monsters.. I lived with a real life one.. y’all.. the hell I went through will blow some minds.. I knew when she offered to “let some girls beat me & throw me in a ditch only to act like she didn’t know what had happened” she was sick.. but according to the recording by Artie Jones Jr. I am the sick one. I’m telling you

8.5 πŸ’™ 8.6 πŸ‘ΌπŸ» 2015

 Fb posts: (I’ll be adding to this over the next few days)  8.1 πŸ’” I can not breathe. Shattered. Medicated. Sobbing. Racing thoughts. Racing heart. +so many other emotions πŸ’” As most of you know 6 years ago; I was laying in a hospital bed BEGGING God to let my baby live!! My water had ruptured + I had just buried my dad and pretty much ran myself ragged to take care of a “mother” who doesn’t love or give two craps about me; then or now; & ultimately sending me into labor..  Today: I am beyond broken: I feel absolutely dead inside and want to just give up on this life to go be with Sidney Blake because I know what it’s like living without a mama and he’s way to young to be living without me!  On the other side of hurting to bad to breathe; I gasp for air for my 2 amazing living boys because again I know what it’s like to live without a mama and couldn’t imagine leaving them without me either..  I am beyond broken. Broken doesn’t even touch the feelings I have.. and with all this com

One day closer to you sweet boy.

  I can not breathe. Shattered. Medicated. Sobbing. Racing thoughts. Racing heart. +so many other emotions πŸ’” As most of you know 6 years ago; I was laying in a hospital bed BEGGING God to let my baby live!! My water had ruptured + I had just buried my dad and pretty much ran myself ragged to take care of a “mother” who doesn’t love or give two craps about me; then or now; & ultimately sending me into labor..  Today: I am beyond broken: I feel absolutely dead inside and want to just give up on this life to go be with Sidney Blake because I know what it’s like living without a mama and he’s way to young to be living without me!  On the other side of hurting to bad to breathe; I gasp for air for my 2 amazing living boys because again I know what it’s like to live without a mama and couldn’t imagine leaving them without me either..  I am beyond broken. Broken doesn’t even touch the feelings I have.. and with all this comes tremendous guilt on what I could have done to save my baby.. m

Monster:

How freaking fitting is this! This is my “incubator” to a T! She has sit and watched me cry and I even had a nervous break down in her yard & was loaded on a ambulance, ended up in the hospital & she DROVE OFF AND LEFT ME!!  After he told me I killed my dad and child & a bunch of other vile he spewed. Not to mention the body bag threats and other stuff.. She even sat with my abuser in court & listened to him attack my mental state to the judge and ran to sit at the table with him.. Still turning it all around to try and make it my fault.. Her even smearing in my face they are dead.  Yes my dad and child are dead..  I know already. Trust me oh how well do I know.. they are dead. Their lives cut short.. by the LIES… πŸ˜‘ Monsters. Ohhh and here is “POT CALLING KETTLE” && she was going to sling his ass under the bus for all he’s done.. 🚌 “mother of the year” protect her child & grandchildren LOL… just wait for the body cam footage & the recordings that count

Be careful with your words..

    First off I want to say to the Jones Family: my sincere condolences to all except one of you! (All to exclude this one Jones member! Pot calling kettle!) The very one speaking in this audio, who can speak words such as these after the shit he’s dumped from his mouth.  I know what it’s like to lose a dad.. & my children their granddad.. so we know how incredibly hard this loss is.. for that I’m so sorry.. I’m equally sorry this evil family member has caused more pain and grief for my family & continues to wreck havoc on us that could essentially effect any of y’all who are trying to break generation curses caused by his words or actions & pray it’s not at the loss of any children or grandchildren.. I can tell you first hand looking in the casket of your child and being told you killed them - can’t even be described. I don’t wish that pain on my worst enemy which is Artie Jones Jr. himself. As evil & disgusting as he is. I also know what it’s like to hear I killed my

Post 7/23/2021

This was a post she liked that someone sent me since she’s blocked me on Facebook.. but clearly him & her both are extremely weak individuals & I hope her taking all my money dad left me & my children that we’ve been living off of for YEARSSSSSSS makes her feel powerful! I’ll do without until my last breath so that my children are taken care of.. I just hope she looks down and watch’s the blood drip off her hands everyday for the rest of her life!!! —— Facebook post today.. as I process and regroup… at this point all my medical will be halted & I hope she sleeps good at night with all the evil and havoc she’s caused, wrecked & watched be done…… #NarcMother my love never mattered & neither will my words but she will not play victim for losing her only child, at my death.. screw that!!! #FakeasDentures     She just thought she knew it all. As usual. She took all my money well pretty much.. 500.00 goes into my acct for me to survive; barely even covering insurance,

Amanda in Color Facebook.

Follow me on Facebook! : Click here :  I’ve posted some new blogs!   + AmandainColor.com & created a new YouTube channel! + https://youtube.com/channel/UCcY-vMMDFS_f3YBUzlZDWFw +++ a BOOK IS IN THE WORKS!!!  “Never sit down and shut up!” She wants to call me “DeManda” because I’m so “demanding”, well.. (recording coming soon!) yes “monster” I am.. I am demanding freedom, from the mental & emotional abuse, the trauma, the absence of a mother who loved, the premature death of my dad and son due to YOUR denial &  negligence, the abuse you’ve allowed me to suffer while turning your head, the image of you sitting in the court room with my abuser, the theft & price changes, the lies.. +++ so much more to be revealed.. I am DEMANDA, demanding to be free of the razor wire you’ve wrapped around my neck! You are a sick individual.  Most children only fear make believe monsters, unfortunately mine was not just make believe, you are a real life monster! + you had the audacity to c

Karma πŸ€¨πŸ™ƒπŸ€” maybe??

( how fitting especially for the address part LOL!! ) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  So I got these from a source a while ago & yes, I blocked the address because I’m sure he will try to say “something” out his ass about me as usual..but at least it won’t be me posting his “gated community address”… but it’s public records….   .. anyway.. I couldn’t help but think…. I wonder if he will get off of this!?? Or what tactics he will use.. (I could say so much but I’m holding off.. trust me it’s coming tho! Oh the lies.. To be revealed… just waited for it all to come together.. ……But….. The state of Georgia versus him?? I can’t help but wonder how strong the political pull or “good old boy” system will be for him in this one?  …seems there has been a recent 6/2021 update which he entered a plea of not guilty. (Now for the record, being said here I don’t know if guilty or not guilty is accurate for this case; but seems a pattern that he is always “not guilty or responsible for any wrong doing in what

Checkmate.. ♟

  I needed this today & someone else out there does too! ✨ with all my intense therapy; I finally feel like I am taking some forward steps.. πŸ‘£  I couldn’t for the life of me for all these years figure out how a mother could not love the child they carried and birthed, especially knowing how much I love mine.. πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™ I often wondered why I was so hard to love that even my own mother doesn’t love or want me and it’s broke me down many times.. especially when she lies to others who come at me with how much she loves me; & mainly because of the world painted a mom as someone who loves you more than themselves & who will always be there, they are supposed to be your best friend, protect you and someone you can always count & rely on; but not every child has that mother; and I’ve slowly learned it’s not that she doesn’t want or love me, it’s that she can not program me to her needs any longer and manipulate me with her lies: I see through her now and all her lies and her bul

Dear Estranged Mother:

   Dear Estranged Mother: Grandmother: //Father/Parents/Grandparents// We need to talk — just not with you. Your estrangement from your adult kid is definitely your fault, and things can’t possibly improve until you take full responsibility and face some hard truths. Hard Truth: Children have no control over how they’re raised. There are echo chambers all over the internet ready to tell unique stories about addicted or mentally unhealthy kids, but that’s not really what’s going on with your kid, is it? There’s also the classic set of excuses that “it wasn’t really that bad” or “we were just strict,” shifting blame to the child for their own upbringing. That’s insane. It can be easy to convince a little kid (and yourself) that it’s their fault the relationship is a mess. What’s changed is their ability as adults to realize parents control the upbringing. Hard Truth: Your adult children have emotionally supportive relationships with others. You’re the odd one out. Your adult children are