Amanda’s Story

I didn’t ask to be brought into this world.. I sure didn’t deserve the abuse Ive been dealt.. You have no idea what I am overcoming, I’ve had a zipper, tape and hands over my mouth for longer than I care to explain, the scars & infection are deep, and all the lies that has come with it, but I love you was the biggest, I’m not sure what my purpose here is, but I fight everyday for my children because I know first hand what it’s like not to be fought for. The mental, emotional, physical abuse I’ve suffered has made me not want to live...death seems easier than the demons I’ve been left to face, yet I face them everyday. It makes me sick to think of all the abuse I’ve covered because I just wanted to be love and accepted, and it all came with conditions of “sit down and shut up” or else, and sadly that’s still been the condition, but I kept waiting for the approval that I was enough and I had lied enough to be loved, and even at 40 I was still waiting... I’ve covered way more than I …

Death of a broken heart is real. Ugh. 💔  I don’t wish this loss on anyone!! Not even the scum who told me I killed my son and added razor blades to my already destroyed heart & so much more hurt to the deep pain & brokenness I already feel... #RevengeisHis 
...I am seriously shocked some days my broken heart hasn’t stopped and most days I wonder if “this is the day” it will be finally give out and I’ll be with my baby boy again, my heart is so tired & honestly I am too... I have suffered the greatest loss there is & so much more has been added to it. #GodImissYouBlakey #SidneyBlake #Hughimonceforme #Mamamissesyou #brokenHeart #Almost4Years 
Unless you’ve been here, you wouldn’t understand. It’s a pain you can’t describe and it doesn’t get easier, you can’t just “get over it” & Time really doesn’t help especially when it comes to child loss. This accurately describes the heart with child loss. #Broken #childloss #deathofaBrokenHeart #SidneyBlake #aSeaofTears
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Well Mother’s Day came and now it’s coming to an end. Mothers Day to me is everyday I get with my children, I’ve lost a child so I know the crushing pain of living without one and I am so thankful for the 2 I still have to remind me everyday how blessed I am to have them. I could have lived without the cards and gifts just as long as I had their hugs and hear their I love yous. I love them more than the air I breathe!

Birthing a child doesn’t make you a mother, a mother is someone that puts the well-being, happiness, wants and needs of their children every single second before their very own. Even having adult children, my children are my everything and they have always, and always will come before me.. they will always feel safe as long as I’m near and I would take a bullet for them in a second!

If they tell me they have concerns how they feel is more important than me trying to convince them and telling them their feelings don’t matter. And they will NEVER EVER be made to feel unwel…

It’s funny to me how a narcissist hypocrite mind works. You know I’ve only shared bits of pieces for many reasons;

1. Being investigations, and some things are going to end up in court.
2. Being it’s hard to share some things because they are just.. well.. let’s just say when the truth is reviled, the ones she’s convinced I’m the liar will eat them words and I’ll still walk away.
3. My dads death lays right here. You will soon see truth to this. You can only fool so many.

But I can tell you this. The Narcissist mind is sick. It’s hypocritical & they are habitual & pathological  liar.

For many years I just wanted to protect what I was told I had to.. you know or I was going to Hell.. heck I still am apparently. But, I had to lie about things because of x,y,z.. or it was always my dads fault or it was always my moms fault.. pitted..

I tried speaking up once and was left in the same situation AFTER being in Savannah regional.
This is just my guess but knowing what I know now I c…

This makes me laugh 🤣🤣🤣


🚌 💨
Thanks for standing up for us!! You go..
 Wooo hoooo! Such big words of protection! 👏🏻
Not sure if he will help you with the redlight anymore tho 🙄

So sure “mother” lets go to dinner, talk about family stuff and go hang out together. Be that family you tell me about.... 😑

Just wait for it.... 💁🏻‍♀️

I’ll share more soon.. but right now..
You know.... I’m wondering if there are flowers or thorns on the fence 🤔

2 different messages from 2 different family members. One I adore. The other, ha.. I wouldn’t even know her on the streets, nor would my children. Funny thing is.. she’s not even been apart of our lives.. & she thinks her words or lies bother me?? 
Ha! Nope, nope & nope. 

Can you guess which one I talk to and knows me the most?  Can you guess the one who my children know?  The one whose phone number I have or who has mine?  The one who truly loves me, like family?
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Yep. The bottom one. And now I know why she’s not been apart of my life, but after spending a couple days with my mom, the first in God only knows how many years I mean my children are 19 & 20 and don’t even know her.. & she wasn’t around when dad died either. But she knows so much 🤣🤣🤣
“Hope my husband and boys love me” yep they sure do.. over {TWENTY} years with the same husband and raised both of my children -ON MY OWN! 
So let me just tell you.. while I’m here, not only does my husband and children lo…

Today is my dads family reunion. My boys really wanted to go, but my narcmom told me she was going to take the man who has threatened us and destroyed us.. so I wasn’t welcomed, yet I found out he was not invited and my family was more than welcome, and we could come and be loved, I guess expect by one person... but whatever, anyway I gracefully excused myself, was even told no one even cared about that, that no one responded to my not being there like they did another family member because they didn’t want me there, more lies, but unlike her I can “gracefully” do things I say I’m going to do, but that doesn’t matter, after the last few days and talking to my aunt and uncle, I think this is disgusting that there is yet another situation that I’ve held it all in and covered the crap so that she can walk out there like she’s done nothing or said nothing with a family she has no use for and has talked about for I don’t even know how long, to make sure my children don’t go since she’s ha…