Amanda’s Story

You know there are times where I’ve wondered why I’m so unlovable by the woman who birthed me, and I don’t think it’s that I’m unlovable, I just have nothing to offer her, you see dad had life insurance & a settlement, nanny and papa the same, I have nothing. So to hear “I’ve been a caregiver all my life and now it’s time for me to live my life”.

Good go live it. I am no contact again because nothing I say matters, just thinking of our chat makes me sad for her, listening to how much she wants her family and loves us yet she has no plan of action to make it happen because it’s not something that comes natural for her to love us. I was daddy’s little girl until the drug abuse started, I remember good times before the drugs but I also know after the drugs came life changed FAST. & the lies and denial was thick.

I didn’t quite understand how she uttered the words it’s been months since she’s seen or talked to her grandchildren or the fact that she has to “pray to see if she can …

Here is an email I sent to the Mayor of St. Mary’s Georgia in regards to the lastest incident:




Good Morning Mayor,
I have a question for you, I am just curious how bullying is ok by any means, especially when it comes to something as sensitive as “a child’s death!” & to the dead child’s mother? by anyone who holds any kind of public seat?! I have thought long and hard about this email to you, and while I’m dealing with more than just this incident, it’s a shame that no one really knows who is behind a political mask.. 
Yet to see any person in a seat who can be so vile and spew such nastiness to a mother who lost their child and then sit on a seat and face a community to be of public service.
 I don’t know what your take is on this, but as a citizen of this county for over 40 years, this man almost cost me my life..... I can tell you my suicide would have solely been placed on his shoulders and the note left would have let the world know, because after he spewed this venom at me tell…

This hits sooo hard & is sooo true!!! 
Not only do I deal with the death of my son, my dad & my grandparents, in a very short time, I have no siblings, I deal with the crap my mother &  her “friends” sling at me & my family, my family & I live in fear everyday of her friend who is a politician & well that alone makes me uncomfortable and uneasy, thankfully there are some good ones left but I’ve lost faith in the political system, and now I have super bad anxiety and ache every SINGLE day as if it wasn’t bad enough from my son dying, accepting & processing the fact she allowed her friend to tell me I killed my son and my dad!!!! And then she left with him while I was loaded in the ambulance as she watched and ended up and UF health hospital! Thankfully my husband got there to take care of me because she surly didn’t care!! I didn’t expect any less she wasn’t there when my son was born or died either.
While I know that is a lie, my body did fail him!!! I alr…