Amanda’s Story

I will be adding to this post & will remove this when I’m finished, so if you see this FYI know this blog post isn’t finished. Dad. I have no words. I could say a million things, yet, I hear the echoes of how your body was a “soup kitchen of drugs”, the lies of regimens, “I’m controlling his medication & blah blah blah, the lies. & all the times I tried to save you, but my voice, cries for help & pleas didn’t matter. Now that you’re gone life goes on for some, but for others like me & the boys, you can’t just be replaced, it doesn’t matter that drugs took you away from your only daughter & grandchildren.. I can’t just go find another dad. Although the more I learn the more I understand why death seemed easier than life. (SemiColon) Justice will come.. I don’t care what anyone says, I didn’t like who you were when you were drugged up, but you were always my daddy, you were there when the drugs didn’t keep you away and you sure as heck would not stand

He can call right now and have me arrested. Since he has so much “power”. Ohh and to hear my mothers twisted story me want to vomit. I love hearing how she can change her story and lie. You know even hearing her defend his body bag remark, as she pulled him away from my car, as I am constantly telling him to back away from my vehicle... I hope she doesn’t think her lies will go unnoticed.. then again, my dad is dead from the lies so I guess they are pretty believable sometimes... denial kills. Anyway, Funny how much power he thinks he has. Well we will see just how much he has. Break down that good ole boy mentality. He may have money for a good attorney but I won’t be carried out in your body bag! Just hearing him “ I can call right now and have you arrested” like he’s someone with power. Well do it then!!!!! Have me arrested. That’s what you want anyway.. you want to continue to destroy my mom and I.. guess what.. you were successful... so I’m sure you’re busting with prid

What a day it’s been. You know I can honestly not wait to expose so much more than I already have.. but to hear & read the lies, honestly I’m not surprised, I mean my dad is dead because of them, so what’s new right... y’all. It’s ok. All I can say was there has been a super long rope.. but it gets shorter and shorter and well honestly I don’t think there is much rope left... I’ll grieve the death of my mother even if she’s still breathing because honestly I’m sick of the lies, manipulation & schemings that come with it.. Fraud, lies, manipulation, more lies, death, stealing, lies, excuses .. and more lies.. I know now why dad did a lot of the things he did and why he left for days to get away from the lies and manipulation.. I can only imagine his fake ketchup blood splattered suicide ploy was because he was wondering what her reaction would be, if she even cared, that’s just speculation but when you all learn more you will understand. It’s sick and disgusting and I truly

I am ready to dig my son up and get the hell away from St Mary’s! #corruption You know the whole time dad was alive and drugging it was lie after lie and excuse after excuse. When he did the drug deal with her friend and my son there, there was lies & excuses. When he ran the cars off of 95 and could have caused more serious injuries, there was lies & excuses. When he laid in the hospital over dosed, there was lies & excuses. When the food stamps came up it was lies & excuse, When my husbands job was threatened, there was lies & excuses. When my children was threatened, there was lies & excuses. When we were threatened with the body bag, there was lies & excuses. When I was told I killed my son and dad, there was lies & excuses. And so many other times there has been lies & excuses. See the pattern, lies & excuses. Always a lie and always an excuse.. and this is just a small portion. But I’m sure you get the picture. She does this because

Happy Birthday SidneyBlake!!!!  Right now: 5:08am August 5, 2015. My life was forever changed. Never to be the same again. Not long ago, this very morning, 4 years ago, my body gave out, I had already labored for days, and just couldn’t go on. I found myself laying on a hospital bed in a empty room screaming for someone to help me, no one was there but the nurses heard me, rushed in and told me you needed to be born STAT. I was so scared, they wouldn’t even let me call your dad.. he got a voice mail from the hospital, because he missed the call, and no one else was there to call him, luckily it woke him up and he immediately got on the road, it was an emergency and I had to go to the OR then and I didn’t know the outcome. It all happened so fast. I was rushed across the hall to the OR with a nurse on the bed with me, slid to the operating table and told to breathe deep, all in a matter of minutes of screaming for help. Any help! Anyone! Just someone to save you! I didn’t

The Raw. As SidneyBlakes 4th birthday approaches, 4 years for me has already started. This was the most anxiety filled week of my life, and unfortunately it still is. My water had already broke and he could come at any time with great risk. 4years ago I laid in a bed with so many unknowns. Today I lay in a bed and I’m drowning. I’m drowning in the waves and my anxiety is at an all time high. If you don’t hear from me for a couple days just know that I’m resting and just trying to survive the pain of child loss. A pain you wouldn’t understand because there is none deeper. The pain of never being able to hold these hands again. The pain of feeling my sons heartbeat stop and him take his last breath on my chest, while there is not a thing I can do about it. I know some of you understand and while most of you don’t, there isn’t words to describe it. My whole body aches and it’s worse than any flu or sickness you could ever have. If I took my last breath here on earth and saw his face ag