Amanda’s Story

Facebook post: 12-31-2019: updated Death seems so much easier than the hurt, lies, pain and abuse my egg donor has caused or allowed to be caused... I fight everyday just to breathe!!!!! She has lied to EVERYONE, not just us. No one is exempt in her game. Wait until you hear it all. Not just my reading, but the actual audio, so, if I end up dead like my dad... check my blog! I have it set to automatically post the first of every month with all the facts that not everyone knows, I’ve just been waiting for court to post it all... Anyway, Since the parasite who birthed me wanted me to kill myself so she could go into 2020 without the fear of her evil & lies being MORE exposed. I’ve literally prayed for God to just take me... either He doesn’t want me or He is really is going to bring me out of this hell.. But, She ALMOST got what she wanted.. for days I’ve been in bed... (thank you all for the messages, calls, txts, visits, I just literally feel beaten down) I came really cl

Hey “MOMMY DEAREST” YOU'VE PUSHED ME HERE!!! I may be going to hell for not honoring my “mommy dearest”  or according to her anyway, but It sure beats living in the hell my children & I have lived in!  (More to be added!! Including audio!) check back soon!  This is RAW!!! It is heavy!!! & I’m tired of carrying it!!! I don’t need a dime, not to be in “her will” any longer and the threats of a quick sale of my dads house to make sure I lose everything... Well go ahead.. I’ve lost my dad and son from your lies and manipulation already so who cares about that demon ridden full of ghosts house! It holds more pain than happiness! If you could see the abuse on the the inside of my body, physically, mentally & emotionally, instead of the outside you’d wonder how I’m even alive!!! I wonder every single day how my heart continues to beat... or more so when it will stop! I am about to share some heavy stuff about life that Ive hid just to make sure my children

Raw: Suicide: Dead Baby. Today I’m sick. I can’t even move from the bed. My children have talked about how much fun Christmas would have been with SidneyBlake this year & how very much we miss him, without him we don’t even want to celebrate, but, we haven’t the last few years anyway... my body just aches. I would give anything to have him! ANYTHING! My boys just want their brother & my husband his 3rd son and it was just RIPPED violently from us... it’s just not fair..  then we have: Christmas 2018: UGH: Just a couple days before Last Christmas I was in such a deep place mentally that I left my family behind to go kill myself, I ended up in some hotel in Alabama when my husband found me. It was already hard coming into Christmas with no elf on the shelf, no SidneyBlake excited about Santa, well I’m sure you get it, so on top of all that and the emptiness; I was told by the most evil piece of scum that I killed my CHILD (audio in comments!) & I had a nervous breakdow

◾️◾️◾️ I’ll be adding more to this post. I’ve saw this posted a few times & it just makes me wonder; What if they don’t get visitors because they were not available parents/grandparents or they were abusive, toxic, narcissistic or (insert whatever else here) that would make their children/grandchildren not want to go visit them. Speaking from the emptiness & hurt... well I can tell you that I highly doubt at this point my children would ever visit my “momster” should she end up in a home, she’s not sat at a meal with them in well over a year and even sat with our abuser at court.. WHY would they visit her??? &&& well.... their friends they choose were just stones they picked up along the way who are to busy with their own family or possibly dead, sooo while they were busy with them stones they let go of their diamonds (family)... & now they sit lonely with no visitors or gifts... karma for what they put their family/children/grandchildren through??

I am a survivor!! My truth does sound insane because mothers are suppose to be your best friend, the one you can count on to protect you & your children, love you unconditionally & so much more... not everyone has that mother. Mine would be happier learning of my death, especially now that I’m no longer an extension of her and under her manipulation! Soooooooo.... Let me break this down: I’ve had (1) person tell me she’s the only mother I will ever have. Get her help & love her... Listen, you obviously don’t know my story. This is just a tip of it. But, a narcissistic person has to want help & clearly she does not, the  statistics show only 2% seek help; 2 percent. Well I can tell you she’s not in that 2 percent; Especially allowing; ◾️Her grandchildren to be THREATENED with a gun; AT HER HOUSE, WHILE SHE STANDS THERE & promised my children she would take care of it, take him to court, throw him under the bus and so many other empty promises. ▪️H

Yes! All week she tried. But I already knew & then yesterday “the cheese ball” & the scapegoat friend who I will leave nameless. 🙅🏻‍♀️ NOPE. #Blocked The brainwashing days are oooooverrrrrrr!! I am soooooo proud of myself! It’s been a few months since we had one of this magnitude, matter of fact the last time was Sept 25, 2 days before my birthday, it was a short one, and there has been a few shorter ones & a few longer ones before, I’m just not interested in going dare searching, I have them in saved blog posts I am working to edit and post or if not there they are in my  book notes I’m working on.. but it’s a thing and if you have a narcissistic person in your life you know how damaging it can be. So I am celebrating 🥳 the fact that I avoided the “momster vacuum” this time! Your fake love is not enough... I know the hamster wheel of lies, manipulation & games you play. Sorry “momster dearest” I’m not that weak, 2 graves keep me stronger than your make beli