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Showing posts from February, 2020

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This. Triggers. Me. This is why I choose to speak out. This little boy died at the hands of the very one he loved more than he loved himself. This boy loved his mama no matter what pain he endured.. you know why??? Because the world paints a mama as a beautiful person who will always love you!!! His mama was his first voice, his first touch, his first everything! He grew next to her heart and she was his safe place no matter the hell she made him endure... this makes me so angry. Here is my post on Amanda in Color on Facebook. Follow me there and go along as I share my story and color another picture, because sadly mothers are not always as the world colors them. Facebook page:  Heart broken. You know what hurts most about this child.. this is the story for many.. some survive it but the mental & emotional damage is ever lasting.. & some don’t survive but they died loving their momster no matter what she put them through or allowed them to go th


This is just a small portion of Councilman Artie Jones Jr. and the hell he has put my family through. I have had several ask and tho I am currently not able to share the full transcript for legal reasons I will share this part and in the near future I’ll share more; but many have asked if he really attacked my mental health in front of the judge in court, yes. Yes he did. Apparently  I “lied” about this as well, because you know I’ve “lied” about everything in their eyes.. and I’ll also add audio in on this post soon also. But let me just clear some of the current questions with facts. Shining the light on some more of the darkness. or as my mother “thinks spinning my wheels”, she’s in denial. Whatever. That’s her choice.  However; here is the part of the transcript where he attacks my mental health; I have documents from a licensed Dr. of my PTSD, anxiety & depression this evil snake has caused and I was instructed by several court officials & law enforcement as well

What. A. Week.

*ill be adding more to this post. Stay tuned. So as most of you know my cousin passed a couple of days ago, I am not getting into all the dynamics of that but, it was my dads brothers son. Anyway, I’ve not been close to them and I’ll share that whole story soon as well, I mean when you hear so much junk you just stay away and the audio about all that is pretty sick, but they were never good enough and always “needy”, and was tore down enough that division was there. (another part of that coming!) even to the tune of lies after my dads death, and again I was sucked right in with them.. But whatever. I’ll save that for another time. That time is not now. I’ll let the wool stay where it’s at for now. But later, I’ll even attach audio that like a lot of other will still shock some, thankfully most already know. But it is what it is right? I mean who my “egg donor” is as a person is just disgusting to me & when I think she can’t pull anything else.. she does.. typical narcissi

Amanda in Color. FB post. 2/3/20

I can relate so much to the link below!! This absolutely speaks to my soul. I say this all the time, but, before losing my son I just didn’t get child loss, I knew child loss had to be hard, because I knew how much I loved my children, but I could never ever imagine the true pain.. until I lost SidneyBlake.. Likewise, until you know what it’s like to live without a mother who loves you.. don’t even try to grasp the reality of what someone goes through, living it. It’s not what the world has painted & you can’t even began to understood unless you to are living it. Just because she’s labeled mom, doesn’t make her one. The words “I love you” are frequently said out of habit. With no meaning. Because that’s what the world has taught us... for someone who truly loves, those words doesn’t even have to be said, the actions prove them. The words are just nice & warm to match the actions.. If the actions don’t like up with the words.. they are empty.. & the words are who y