In about 16 days my absolute worst nightmare happened… & for 7 years it’s continued to haunt me… I’ve lived in a constant pain that can’t even be described.. no time has healed or made it better… no words have soothed it.. every.single.freaking.day. I have to decide if it’s even worth pulling myself out of the bed and carrying the weight of all the broken pieces of my child’s death… you just don’t know how hard it is unless you live in this nightmare also… in a few short days 7 years ago my water broke & my sons story began… I laid in a hospital bed, BEGGGGGGING for a miracle…. Watching & listening to his little heart beat on the monitors which was music to my ears, cherishing every kick & move that he made… & heavy tears streaming as I begged him to keep fighting with me & hoping this nightmare would end because he still had weeks before his little body was ready to meet me earthside… the odds were against us… & then it happened… my body had already failed