Amanda’s Story

 In about 16 days my absolute worst nightmare happened… & for 7 years it’s continued to haunt me… I’ve lived in a constant pain that can’t even be described.. no time has healed or made it better… no words have soothed it.. every.single.freaking.day. I have to decide if it’s even worth pulling myself out of the bed and carrying the weight of all the broken pieces of my child’s death… you just don’t know how hard it is unless you live in this nightmare also… in a few short days 7 years ago my water broke & my sons story began… I laid in a hospital bed, BEGGGGGGING for a miracle…. Watching & listening to his little heart beat on the monitors which was music to my ears, cherishing every kick & move that he made… & heavy tears streaming as I begged him to keep fighting with me & hoping this nightmare would end because he still had weeks before his little body was ready to meet me earthside… the odds were against us… & then it happened… my body had already fa...

Who even does this?? Shares someone’s profile picture that they are NOT in & it doesn’t have anything to do with them? Is this for attention? or a trophy move? or just to be a disgusting human to take stabs at her family who he’s already destroyed? ORRR maybe all of the above? After all he threatened her family with body bags so maybe he is making some type of point with flaunting her??? Bless his heart. (This one on dads birthday!) Y’all.  I can not even with this. Listen I don’t have to write a full post about this… it speaks volumes and says so much of the type of person he is.. & well she allows this.. even tho she says she doesn’t…but.. this is laughable to me; who shares someone’s profile picture? Not only that but remember she was also made as his profile picture on my dads birthday… “the dad I killed remember?”  Yet she is so blind to his agendas & motives.. While I know this is just one of his many stabs at me, This is just laughable because if he only hea...

While this isn’t the full reason I share my story this is part of it. The last couple of years since my dad and son have passed I’ve learned so much, a lot of it hurts, but, even hearing about “who I am” from people who don’t even know me. Sad reality is this person could walk up to me right now and gut me and I’d have no idea who she even was... now even though I don’t owe anyone anything let me explain; there are only a FEW of these people; I am met daily with love, support, truth and people that truly know me and that have been there MY WHOLE LIFE that I would know if they walked up to me.. those are the ones who matter; but, since this person decided to attack me publicly on MY OWN POST.. I felt like I could elaborate a little on the “lies”. This didn’t just start, I just masked it because that’s what we’ve always done. No matter what happen we hid it.. I am not hiding anymore and the more you learn the more you will know why! After dad died and the same lies were still being tol...